Life in rubbles
by Milady29
Summary: Gabriela Dawson and Matt Casey are trying to make their marriage work through their job and their homelife. Working on the same truck, Matt makes a decision to protect his wife and their lives end up in rubbles. Can they work through it and will their marriage last?
1. The accident

**So here is my new story. It has been really hard to write, but I have decided to start this new story, and I hope that you like it so far! As you may notice the chapter is a lot longer than most of my chapters are usually. There will be longer update, but they will most likely be less frequent! Please let me know what you think and if you want to see more of this story.**

* * *

They had just been called to a fire alarm in a company building as the truck rushed down the Chicago streets.

Casey looked in the rearview mirror, looking at his wife witting in the back of the truck. Wanting to go back on truck even though she liked being a paramedic, they had pulled a lot of strings. Since a month she had been under him and it had been hard to balance their marriage and the job, but he saw how happy she was to be back on truck, and that mattered a lot to him.

They arrived at the building and he ordered them all around, lastly looking at Gabby then.

''You stay here, help people as they come out.'' Casey told Gabby and she nodded, looked after him as he walked in. Lately he had been doing this a lot and even though she knew that it was because he did not want her at the frontline.

Later, back at the station, Gabby wanted to sit down and have lunch, but thought about what Matt had just done.

She looked as he walked past the common room on the way to his office.

''What the hell was that at the call, why did you sideline me?'' She asked as she walked after him.

''What?''

''At the call!'' She said as she followed him to his office.

''I needed you at the door, there were lots of people walking out and I needed somebody there to tell them where to evacuate!'' He said.

''It felt like you didn't want me to even be there!''

''Stop it Dawson. I had to make a call and I did.''

''Matt!''

''Don't Matt me here. I have never treated you any different than the rest of the crew.'' He said angry as he closed the door.

''Oh yeah, really seemed you were trying to protect me back there?'' She said mad.

''Dawson, I am not even going to argue about this with you. If you are not happy about leadership, you should transfer to another house. You know we have been under fire enough about all of this.'' Matt said as he sat down.

''Yeah, and I don't agree how you treat me sometimes. I am just as capable as the others.''

''I don't doubt that, or you would not be on my crew!''

There was a knock on the door and Mouch peeked into the office.

''Should I call a divorce la-''

''Get out!'' They said in unison.

''And you get out too, if you want to throw this shit on my plate at home, that is fine, but for now I am lieutenant, and you deal with my orders.''

Gabby turned around, so mad that he was worried the glass was going to break out of the door when she closed it and walked off.

At the end of shift, she drove home, while Matt walked. They had not talked to each other the rest of this shift. She was mad with him. They had promised they could make working on the same truck work, but now she was not so sure anymore. Sometimes she wondered if she was just imagining it, but now she was sure he was treating her differently.

She had just come home and put her stuff away after shift when Matt came walking in. Every time they had had a fight at work, it was hard to come home. There was barely any time they were not together, and it made their marriage a lot more work than most couples.

''I'm off to the doghouse.'' Matt said, swinging his bag over his shoulder.

''Yeah, we should talk tomorrow.'' She said mad. It was probably for the best they spend some time apart now. They had yelled at each other at work, and they knew if they talked about it now, they would only make it worse. There was no way around each other and even though she hated seeing Matt leave, she knew that it was for the best now.

He closed the front door behind him and walked to his car, driving over to Kelly's.

His friend opened the door for him. Even though he knew Matt and Gabby were a great couple, it was probably for the best now. He couldn't imagine sharing a house and the job with his wife. Honestly, he couldn't even imagine having a wife.

They sat down on the couch, Matt's place for the night as Kelly put on the football and handed him a beer.

''So, no talking today?''

''She screams at me, and I scream at her, and we never talk it out.''

''Well coming here is not going to make it much better, you know that.''

''Oh hold up, I just want to watch the football, not talk relationships with you.'' Matt said.

They were silent for a few minutes, looking at the football.

''You know what, maybe I sometimes do treat her differently, but she is my wife. I don't want to, but I worry you know.''

''That is not really fair of you, Case.''

''I know, I know. But it is also not fair of her to dissect all my orders to see if I treat her differently. Sometimes I have to make decisions.''

''You need to talk with her about it, maybe say that it is better if she moves to a different tru-''

''You want me here as a permanent resident?''

They both chuckled for a bit, Matt looking down at his bottle as he was scratching some of the label off.

''I love her, and I don't want to lose her. I thought it would be easier to have her serving under me, but it is not easy.'' Matt admitted. ''I've been so happy to be married to her, and I am scared something is going to happen, and I know it is stupid, but I just want to make sure that she is okay.''

''Well you two better work it out, because I am not going to let you stay here every night.''

''I wasn't planning on it.'' Matt said, looking down at the bottle again. He was longing to go home, and be with his wife again.

The next morning, he left the couch behind and made his way back home.

Gabby was already up, making breakfast in the kitchen as he walked in.

''Hey.''

''Slept well?'' Gabby asked as he walked a bit stiff, and she was sure that Kelly's couch had not done him much good.

''not really.''

''Me neither.''

They both sat down by the table, a stack of pancakes in the middle but neither of them really felt like breakfast.

''I am sorry I got so mad yesterday, I know you are my lieutenant and I need to listen to you. But I just don't want you to treat me differently.

''I am sorry Gabby but please realize that I don't do it to make you look bad, or because I think you can't do it, I tis just that I am worried about you.''

''I love you.'' She smiled then.

''I love you too.'' He said back, and they kissed, finally having breakfast. Even though they were so happy together, their marriage also took some work and even though it never took long before they made up, she knew that it was still something they had to work on for their marriage.

''I figure you want a shower after sleeping on that unholy couch of Kelly's.'' Gabby smiled a bit mischievous as he got up.

''oh, you care to join me?''

''Yeah.'' She giggled as she ran after him.

A little later, they laid in bed together. He had his arm around her as she was laying close to him.

''Do you ever regret getting married?'' Matt asked a bit worried, even though both of them worked really hard to make it work at the firehouse and be good spouses at home, he sometimes worried he was making her unhappy by being her lieutenant.

''I have not regretted it at all. Not since day 1.''

''Me neither.'' He smiled, kissing her on her forehead and they laid together, glad they had talked it out and hoping that the next chapter would be better.

* * *

The next shift came around and as soon as he came walking in, Casey was called into Boden's office.

''please sit down.''

Casey got a bit nervous, not sure what to expect. Even though he and Gabby had had some troubles, he was not sure what he did wrong to get berated by Boden.

''I heard that there are some concerns in the crew that you are treating Dawson differently.''

''I uhm – I try not to chief, but I also recognized that I made a call last shift that was not fair to her.''

''You know it was hard enough to get you on the same shift.''

''I know chief, and I really appreciate that, I am really sorry.''

''Won't happen again? I can let you off with a warning now, but it would mean that you might be moved to different firehouses in the future if it happens again.''

''Won't happen again chief.''

''Goo-''

Before they could finish their conversation, an alarm came in and they ran to the trucks.

They were called to a large apartment building on fire, and the fire seemed to be on the top floor.

Gabby looked as her husband ran to the top floor with Hermann. She was scared because he had been called to Boden's office, but they had not been able to talk yet.

''Fire department, call out!''

She walked into the first apartment, together on the floor with Otis.

Otis went to the next one as she walked into the bedroom. There was a woman, crying.

''You need to evacuate!''

''I am scared.'' The woman cried, and Gabby knew there was no way she was going on her own.

Gabby laid her hand on her arm and started to walk down the stairs with her. Otis came by, said it was cleared and went to the next story to help out.

Gabby was just at the entrance with the woman that she had found when there was rumbling above her.

''Top floor collapsed!'' She heard over the radio.

She brought the woman to the others and walked back in, knowing that her husband was still up there.

''Hermann are you still up there with Casey?'' She radioed.

''I am on my way down, Casey ordered me to.'' Hermann said over the radio. She sighed relieved, it meant that Matt was okay. She took her radio in her hand, switching to Matt.

''Matt?''

''I am here.'' She finally heard on the radio.

Matt was sitting up against some of the rubble. Looking aside he saw some rebar sticking out of his hip. He tried to get up, but just managed to muffle his grunt as it really hurt and he sunk back on the floor.

''Are you hurt?'' She asked worried, putting her foot on the stairs.

''I am fine.'' He lied as he tried to get up again, surprising the screams as he held the wall, slowly making it to the stairs.

''I am coming for you.''

''No, I order you to stay outside.''

''There is enough time.''

''No.'' He just said calmly. ''More could collapse, I can't have anything happen for you. If Boden deems it safe squad might come in.''

Angry she looked up the stairs, thinking of running back up. He was there, he was right there, her husband and she thought about a second for neglecting his orders.

''Matt, please, I am right here, I am only a few stairs away.'' She cried through the radio then, hoping that her husband would take back what he had said, hoping that he would let her go in to go after him, but it were orders.

''No, I gave you my orders.'' She heard on the other side of the line. There were still some sounds, and she figured he was moving, and she kept looking, hoping that he would still walk out in time.

''Matt, I am doing nothing here! I can come in and help you.''

''I don't want anything to happen with you. The others are on their way out, and I don't want you to come back in.''

Inside, Matt held the radio down, slumping down on the stairs.

''Matt?''

He brought the radio up to his mouth again.

''Gabby, you need to get out.''

''I am at the entrance, but I can still find you.'' She said through the radio, sounding desperate.

''Dawson, I order you to get out of the building right now.'' He finally said.

Gabby stood there, a few floors under him, holding the radio in her shaking hand. The last few months, he had always called her dash Casey, jokingly, but now he was using her maiden name again.

''I hate you, how can you do this to me!'' he heard through the radio then, the words hurt him even more than his hip did now, and he turned the radio off.

''You are giving me orders again, just me, just because you want to protect me! It's like you don't trust me or respect me. I hate you! Matt!'' She realized he had switched his radio off.

Frustrated, Gabby threw the radio against the stairs and it bounced off.

Tears welled up in her eyes as somebody grabbed her arm, dragging her downstairs.

''Dawson, the building might collapse.'' Hermann yelled as he was dragging her outside. Boden came walking their way once they got outside and after the dark building, the light blinded her for a second.

''Where is Casey?''

''He is on the top floor, I tried to get back up –''

''I was trying to give you orders.''

''He ordered me not to come up to help him.'' Dawson said, looking back at the building, crying.

''he blocked the radio by talking to you.'' Hermann said, and he was pretty sure it had been Casey's plan so that his orders could not be overruled by Boden.

''I need to go back in!'' She said, wanted to walk there.

''It's too late now, I am sorry Gabby.''

She screamed, she just screamed, she had been so sure Matt was going to walk out and be okay, and there was nothing.

The guys were holding her back, she tried to get back in, she wanted too, she wanted to find him, but then the door opened, and Matt came stumbling outside.

She felt the guy letting go of her and she ran his way.

But way before she could reach him, the building gave in, and she saw Matt disappear in the smoke and rubble.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think!**


	2. Bad news

**Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! I am so glad so many of you are interested in this story. I hope you like this chapter as well. Please let me know what you think at the end of it!**

* * *

If he was really gone, her last words to him had been about how she hated him.

She couldn't get that out of her head as she ran to the pile of rubble. Frantically she threw some of the stones aside, pulled back by Brett then, whom pulled her in arms.

She burrowed her face in Brett's neck and started to sob.

Looking over her shoulder she saw how the others started digging where Matt had disappeared. She barely dared to look, so scared she would lose her husband.

''I got him, he has got a pulse!'' Hermann said then, and the rest of the men helped them get Casey out. Gabby finally got up and she wanted to run his way when Brett grabbed her arm.

''Come on, to the ambo. You should go with him.''

Gabby ran to the back of the ambo and barely a minute later, Matt was loaded in, Gabby wanting to grab his hand, but letting Brett do her work. As much of a talented EMT she had always been, she had no clue what to do now and her hands were shaking so bad she didn't think she would even be able to do anything.

He opened his eyes a little bit and Brett moved aside a bit, Gabby coming closer.

''Matt?'' Gabby pinched his hand, worried, but he was not responding.

''We are almost there.'' Brett assured her and in the hospital, she wanted to follow him, but was pushed back. In the waiting room, a nurse was helping her fill out the forms.

One of the nurses came to bring his stuff as they told her he was going into surgery and she took his wedding band and watch. The watch had a crack in the glass.

''he is going to be so pissed.'' Gabby said, letting out a nervous laugh as she looked at it. But it was going to be okay, she was sure of that. They said it was just for his hip.

Motionless she sat in the waiting room. Minutes seemed to pass by like hours and even Kelly tried to talk to her sometimes, she couldn't even listen to him.

She thought Matt was gone when they were waiting outside the building, and now he was hanging on to life. She didn't want to lose him, and the only thing she could focus on now was making sure she would see him again.

Some of the other members of the firehouse left as she told them to. It was taking a while, and it was hard enough to be here, and them all looking at her didn't make it any easier.

''it is taking long, something is wrong.'' She said as she bit her nail. In the ambo it had only seen that his leg was injured by the rebar.

''Maybe it's a good sign, maybe somebody worse came in and his surgery was pushed back.'' Kelly tried to comfort her, but Gabby shook her head.

''No, this is taking way too long.'' She said, getting up to grab some water then. She just got up when a doctor came walking her way.

''Are you the direct family of Matthew Casey?''

''I am his wife.'' Gabby said and she walked along with the doctor.

''We got the rebar out of his leg.''

Gabby sighed relieved, but the doctor looked really somber.

''It means he could walk again, but we are not sure if he is. It is too early to tell.''

''What?'' Gabby asked worried.

''On the MRI for his hip to see if the rebar damaged anything after removing it, we found fractures in his neck and back. I thought a neurologist had come to tell you.''

''No.'' Gabby said then, her lip shaking.

''He is breathing on his own but there is a lot of damage to his neck and spine, and we can not tell how he is going to recover.''

She sunk down back on the stair and started to weep. She wanted to get up, ask things, but it was like the entire world came crumbling down.

And she had told him that she hated him.

''We stabilized his back and neck, but it is too early to tell the damage.''

Gabby looked down, not sure what to say, hoping that she would wake up soon and it was all a nightmare.

''You can go see him if you like.''

''No.'' Gabby said as she panicked. She brushed past the doctor and walked into the bathroom. She threw some water in her face and started to sob then, leaning on the sink and tears streaming down her face, dripping into the sink.

After a few minutes she managed to keep her composure again and walked after a nurse to the room.

She peeked around the corner of the room, finally walking in. he was still asleep and she carefully walked closer to the bed. His neck was in a brace and the reality the doctor had said wat pushed in her face again. There was a soft knock on the door and Kelly looked at her.

''is it okay if I come on?''

''Yeah, yeah, I just got here.'' Gabby tried to dry her tears.

''Boden told us.'' Was all Kelly said.

''I uh, I didn't really listen.'' She admitted as she walked closer and sat down on the edge of the bed.

''They say he should be waking up tomorrow; there is no damage to his head.'' Kelly said as he laid his hands on her shoulders.

''I hope we know more tomorrow.'' Gabby said then, sniffing a bit as she hoped it would all be okay. The doctor said he could still recover, but she was also scared.

The next morning, she woke up to the cold and empty house.

She wanted to get up, go see Matt in the hospital, but before she even got up from the bed reality set in again. It was a lot worse than they had thought, and she didn't even want to think about bad this could end up.

She loved him so much, and she would be able to deal with it and be by his side, but she knew Matt, and she was not sure how he was going to react to the news. The doctor was going to tell him this morning, and she knew she should be there for him.

Crying on the edge of the bed, it took hours before she finally got up.

Slowly she walked into the room. He was awake and he didn't see her immediately, but his blue eyes made their way to her then.

Slowly she walked closer, stopping halfway.

''I figured you needed some time this morning.'' She bit her lip as she looked down. She knew she should have been there for him. Reality was only setting in on her, and she knew she was wrong for not being here for him. She should have bene here when they told him, but it had been too hard this morning.

''Really could have used my wife here.'' He said, his voice soft and cracking.

''Sorry.''

She walked a bit closer. His eyes were red and she was sure he had been crying. She was so angry about how he had blocked her off saying anything. That he had given her different orders. That there had been enough time for her to save him, and he had not let her.

It shouldn't matter to her at this moment, not with everything that was going on with him, but she was still so angry with him.

She still had her hand on his, and even though he had not said anything, she hoped that it would bring him some comfort. As mad as she was, she did care, and she knew this was not the moment to throw it all out on him.

''how are you feeling?'' She finally asked, and he looked her way.

''I uhm, I don't really know.'' He admitted softly.

''Can we talk about it?''

''What is there to say Gabby.'' He said, biting his lip. ''Look, I lost everything, and you hate me.''

''Matt – I don't hate you.''

''I can't stop thinking about how you hate me.'' He said softly. ''I mean, I guess I deserved it.''

''Matt, it was –''

''I know it is stupid.'' He mumbled. He looked at her then, saw that she was holding his hand.

She was still holding his hand, and just for a second she felt it move a little bit. It was like a short tremor.

''Please let go of my hand.''

''Matt-''

''Please.'' He said, and she laid his hand down on the bed.

''I feel really guilty about not going upstairs to get you. You would've been out before the collapse.''

''You listened to my orders, I don't blame you. I am glad you got out in time.''

She looked down, in silence.

''I am really sorry I wasn't here Matt, I am so scared what is going to happen, and I felt so bad about not being able to do anything after leaving you in that building.'' Gabby started to cry now. Looking aside at his wife, he felt so bad he could not even raise his arms to dry her tears and he couldn't help but start to sob as well.

''You were holding my hand, and I couldn't even feel it.'' He sobbed now and she felt horrible about not being with him these first days.

''I can't feel anything.'' He struggled to say then, so upset she didn't even know what to say anymore.

''I felt your hand move.'' Gabby said, talking about the little tremor in his hand when she was holding it.

''Don't lie.'' He cried on and Gabby dried her tears with her hand, grabbing a tissue and carefully drying his cheeks.

''I did, really.''

''how are we going to get through this?'' He asked scared.

''we will, I am sure.''

* * *

The next day, she was waiting on the hallway as Matt was being looked after by the nurses. Kelly and Boden had wanted to come by today, but he didn't want to see anybody.

She knew it was hard on him and she could imagine that it was not easy for him to let people see him like this, but Kelly was his friend and really wanted to see him, and she hoped it would cheer him up a bit, but he was pretty stern on it.

''Hey.'' She said as she walked in and kissed him on his forehead.

''hey.''

''How was the night.''

''Was mostly knocked out.'' Matt said and she was concerned as he looked really tired.

''Can I put your wedding band back on? I got it here the…the afternoon before you went into surgery.'' Gabby said as she was holding his ring.

''Yeah, ofcourse.'' He said then and looked as Gabby moved the ring around his finger. He hated that he could not feel it, or move his hand so that it was not so hard on her, but she managed. She held his hand in hers, caressing it for a second, put it down then, not sure if he was okay with her holding his hand.

''They did an MRI again this morning to see if the swelling is going down. Should get the results this afternoon.'' He said then.

''That is good, I hope there is some change for you soon.'' Gabby said, not sure what else to say. They knew that for all they knew, it would not get better, but she still hoped that once the swelling would go down, he would regain some feeling.

Honestly, she hadn't really thought about the other option. As much as she loved him, she didn't want to think what would happen if it would stay this way. She loved him, and she wanted to be by his side, but knew he wasn't going to take this situation.

''Lots of people called me today…asked me how you were doing.'' She said as she had awoken with a ton of messages.

''I am sure I got a lot too, but I haven't really been able to answer them.'' He mumbled.

''I haven't really felt like answering anybody.'' Gabby admitted.

''Me neither, because it means this is the reality then.'' Matt said and his lip started to shake.

Gabby moved a bit closer, as close as she could, hated seeing her husband like this.

''Anything I can do for you?''

''My neck is killing me.'' He admitted, ''And I can't even press the call button.''

''What about your back?'' Gabby asked a bit concerned.

''I can't feel it. It's my neck and a whole bunch of nothing'' He said a bit angry and she wasn't sure if he was angry because he was pain or angry with her in general.

''I will get somebody.'' Gabby said, feeling even worse for him. Standing on the hallway as she looked Matt getting more painkillers and was moved around the bed and walked inside as he was falling asleep.

''I am really sorry I asked that, it is was stupid.'' She said as she sat down, caressing through his hair as his eyes were falling shut.

''That is okay.'' He mumbled then, Gabby kissing him on his cheek.

''I know you don't want me to say it, but I still think you are going to be fine. You always have been. And I will be here for you, and together we will make it work.'' Gabby promised him, kissing him on his forehead then. Matt's eyes fell shut and she looked as he fell asleep. Knowing he was fast asleep, she started to sob, not being able keep it in any longer.


	3. New reality

**Here is the third chapter and I hope you like it! There is a lot more coming up but first of lal thank you for reading the first chapters and all your reviews, it means a lot! Thanks again and please enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

It had been ten days since the fateful call.

Every morning she went to see him, and tonight she was also excited to see him. Even though it was hard for them, she was glad that he was talking to her, and it gave her hope that they could get through this.

Yesterday the doctor had met with them and they had talked about the plan now for his recovery. With the latest MRI it showed that the swelling was going down, and even though there was damage, not his whole spinal cord was severed and it gave hope for the future.

Matt was pushing himself with hope that he was going to make a full recovery, and Gabby hoped the same, but she was a bit more realistic, and for now she hoped that he would be able to use his hands again and be independent again.

Gabby went to his room and saw he was already ready for the day. Even though he could not leave the bed, she knew it made him feel good when he wasn't in bed in the same clothes all day. By the time she got there he had already had a session of therapy as well and even though he was still somber about his outlooks, she knew that there was improvement. Yesterday when she was holding his hand he had felt something on his thumb, and the doctors said that the swelling was going down.

He managed to move his arms just a bit. Nothing groundbreaking, but she knew it was the beginning. The therapists were working hard with him, and she knew he was impatient, but then she was also sure that he was going to improve more than he was thinking about now.

Just a week ago there had been nothing, and now it was slowly getting a bit better with his shoulders and he could slightly extend his elbows again when he wasn't too tired. She knew that he was expecting miracles, but for her she knew that he was improving, and that was all that mattered.

''How are you feeling today?'' Gabby asked as they shared a kiss.

''Bit drugged, but decent.'' Matt smiled just a bit. Even though he did not feel great, he tried to make a joke, tried to keep it light where he could.

''Is it okay if I take your hand?'' Gabby asked. ''I don't want to take it when you don't wa-

''It is not because I don't want you to hold my hand, it freaks me out I can barely feel it.'' He finally admitted. Gabby took his hand now and held it tight.

''It will get better.''

He felt it, just a little bit of pressure, but it was something, and gave her a small smile.

''Kelly will come by tonight.''

''That is great, it is good you are allowing us all near you again.'' Gabby said. She knew it was not going to be good for a long time, but it was a start.

''he told me the CFD wanted to fire me, but Boden stepped up.''

Gabby listened, even though he was speaking very slowly and was struggling, she was glad that he was talking to his friend again.

''I mean, eventually they will.'' Matt said, looking down. ''There is no way I am coming back and once they get the medical bills...''

''You can't think like that. The doctors said you might recover well, and you could come back.''

''They don't want me back, remember how I messed up the radio and the orders.''

She was still holding his hand, caressing over it. She knew he could barely feel it, but she also believed it could still be okay.

''But are we going to be good?'' He asked worried.

''I mean, yeah. I think so.''

''But you are not sure.''

''I am not going anywhere, if that is what you mean.'' She promised him then. There was a lot more they had to talk about but then she also wanted didn't want to ruin it now.

''Neither am I.'' He said with a very wry smile.

Gabby tried to smile about his joke, but tears filled her eyes.

''I didn't want to make you cry.''

''Sorry.'' Gabby said. She did not want to cry, but him saying again how he could not to anything but lay in bed made her feel horrible.

''No I am sorry.'' He said as he didn't want to make her cry.

There was a knock on the doorpost as Ashlynn, his physical therapist came in.

''Ready for a second round?'' She asked as she had seen him earlier this morning and Gabby got up.

''I will leave you be, okay?'' She said as she left, leaving him with the therapist.

The days passed by slowly. She spend most mornings with him and then came back in the evening. Slowly he was opening up a bit more to her, but even though they had talked about the day itself, they barely dared to talk about the future.

Even though Matt was getting frustrated, she felt he was improving, now the swelling from the surgeries was going down.

As Matt had physical therapy, she left the hospital and drove to her mom's place. After her parents had split, her mom had moved here.

Camilla was waiting by the door as she parked her car and got out.

''Come on, let's get some coffee.'' Her mom invited her and they walked to a little deli near the park, walking in the park with their coffees.

''So did you go and see him this morning.''

''Every morning. He was going decent.'' Gabby said. She really wanted to spend as much time with him as she could and be the best the wife for him.

''Do you think he would appreciate me coming by soon?'' Camilla asked as she saw her daughter was struggling and wanted to be there for her and her husband.

''He doesn't really want to see anybody, mom.''

''That is fine-''

''Don't worry, it is not you, he doesn't want to see anybody.'' Gabby said as they sat down on a bench.

''It is not nothing that happened to him. I know it is hard, but he probably needs some time.'' Her mom said understanding.

''I am scared it is not getting any better, and not for me, but for Matt. He seems to scared it is going to be this way and you know him mom, he is not going to take it well if there is nothing he can do anymore.'' Gabby said worried. ''Yesterday we had a talk with the doctor and all he was talking about was how he doesn't want things to stay this way.''

Camilla nodded understanding.

''I am really proud of you, how you are supporting him.'' Her mom said then, and it meant a lot to Gabby.

''Thank you too...for being here for me and Matt.''

''I love you Gabby...and know that I will always be here for you, just like Antonio. He keeps asking about you and Matt.'' Camilla said and Gabby felt a bit bad about not talking to her brother yet. The last week had been really stressful, and dealing with Matt had been hard enough alone. Dealing with other's people sympathy was even harder now, even from her own brother.

Kelly was walking into the hospital.

Well, he had already been here for almost half an hour, but had struggled finding something for Matt in the souvenir shop. He had really wanted to get his friend something, but he had no idea what to take. He had wanted to take a book or a magazine, but knew that Matt couldn't even hold it now, and now he went up empty handed.

Going up to the room, he was getting more and more nervous. He took a moment to regain his composure, but walked in now.

Matt was up against a large stash of pillows, his hands supported with pillows as wel land his neck in a brace, but he looked really happy to his friend.

''Hey man.'' Kelly said.

''Hey, good to see you again.'' Matt smiled and Kelly looked around. The room was a lot more decorated than the night after the call. Gabby had put some pictures out and he had his own pillow here now.

''Gabby has started an IKEA in here.'' Matt smiled just a bit. It had been almost 2 weeks now since the accident and she had started to clutter his room with all sorts of stuff. But at least it gave him something to look at now that he didn't have anything to do.

Even Kelly didn't know what to say anymore and Matt felt bad everybody was so uncomfortable around him.

''How is the firehouse?''

''Everybody is still….everybody is still shocked about what happened, and honestly nobody knows what to do. ''

''Right.'' Matt said a bit hurt. It was not just that he was ruining it for Gabby, but he was making it hard for the firehouse too.

''But there have been some good calls too.'' Kelly said, not wanting his friend to feel bad. He told a bit about the calls and was glad to see his friend was enjoying listening to the stories.

''Heard from Gabby you have a bit of movement coming back?'' Kelly ask. He had wanted to ask earlier but had been a bit worried he would upset Matt.

''Not much but yeah, with some help I can move my elbow and right shoulder a bit.'' Matt said and he tried, but not much moved.

''Ah you will get there.'' Kelly tried to support his friend, but Matt looked disappointed.

Gabby came walking in as well, glad to see Kelly was here too.

''Alright, I should leave you too be, I will be back soon.'' Kelly promised, laying his hand on Matt's shoulder for a second.

''You know how to leave this maze?'' Gabby asked.

''Right, right?'' Kelly said unsure and Gabby got up to walk wit him. On the hallway, away from Matt's room he stopped.

''I don't want to stress you out, but me and Boden are still fighting to keep Matt in the CFD. You might want to look at private insurance, because if he loses the job, he loses the insurance.'' Kelly said as he sat down across from here.

''But they can't fire him because he got hurt at the job-'' Gabby frowned.

'' He got reprimanded that morning, there were already talks in the CFD to have him transferred, or demoted. You know he has quite the record there now-''

''Good things too!''

''Gabby, I am putting my everything in, together with Boden. I just wanted to warn you.''

''Kelly, if he loses that job, he is done for, he will not try to improve anymore, and we won't have the money for the bills.'' Gabby said worried

''Me and Boden are really trying, and I still believe that it will end up well.'' Kelly promised her and she nodded.

''Please don't talk about it with him, he is going through enough now.'' Gabby said, even though she felt bad about leaving him out of this.

''No, we just need him to recover.''

They nodded, and she looked as Kelly left, walking back to Matt's room.

''How are you feeling?'' Gabby asked a bit worried as he looked really tired.

''I am fine, can you just get me some water?'' He answered, and she nodded.

''I didn't really want to get help drinking while Kelly was around.'' He explained while she got a cup of water for him and grabbed a straw, held it out for him. Even though she knew that Matt did not like it when she had to do that, it made her feel better that he did allow it now.

''Therapist said that I might try to sit up next week. Depends on how my back looks.'' He said as Gabby put the blanket up and took his hands in hers.

''I heard they want to move you to a rehabilitation center as well. That would be nice, would mean you are closer to me and the firehouse too.''

''I would like that.'' Matt smiled as Gabby was still trying to make him feel comfortable. Even though he did not feel most of it, he was glad she was by his side and trying to help it as much as possible. It was hard to accept, but he knew that it was reality now. At least for now.

The MRI was looking good and the doctors had also said that even though there was damage, they believed that he could get the feeling and use of his arms back and he was holding on to that now.

Looking at Gabby, as she was folding one of the blankets and putting some of his stuff way, he did feel bad for her. She deserved better than this.

''You are cramping up again.'' Gabby said a bit concerned as looked at his knees shaking under the blanket.

''Means the muscles are starting to work again.'' Matt said. Even though it wasn't comfortable cause it also hit his neck, and he hoped it would stop soon, the doctor said it might also mean that his muscles were slowly becoming active again, and even though he couldn't move or feel it, he hoped it was a good sign for the future.

''I don't really want to go home.'' Gabby admitted as she sat down again and Matt felt horrible as there was nothing he could do to comfort her.

''What is wrong?'' He asked concerned.

''The house is a mess and I wish you could come home with me, I really miss you.'' She said as it had been almost two weeks ago since they had last been together at home.

''I am so sorry Gabby.''

''There is nothing you can do abou-''

''I wish I could. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for you, but I can't.'' Matt said, getting upset as well; Not because himself now but because she was upset, and he hated seeing his wife upset.

''All I need you, is for you to be okay…and with that I don't mean running marathon, but home with me, feeling good.'' Gabby assured him and kissed him.

''Oh, my mom gave me this for you.'' She said as she opened her bag and showed him the card her mom had given her and let him read it, putting it on the wall with all the other cards he had gotten.

''Can you thank her from me – I don't really want to see anybody ye-''

''I know, take your time.'' She said and even though she wished he would see more people, she knew he was trying.

''Not going anywhere soon.'' He sighed as he looked down at his hands. He had been working so hard with his therapist, but except for a bit of spasms, he wasn't able to do anything.

''I love you.'' Gabby said then, kissing him. Even though it would net get easier any time soon, she missed him at home with her, and she loved him so much. They would get through this like husband and wife, she was sure he would be okay.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading the third chapter, I hope you liked it and please let me know what you thought! next chapter will hopefully be up either sunday or monday! Hopefully till then!**


	4. New beginnings

**Thank you for reading the first chapters and all your reviews, it means a lot! Thanks again and please enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

It had been a month since Matt had had the accident on the job. They had finally removed the neck brace. Matt was hopeful it would finally mark the start of his recovery, but when the neurologist said he was still stuck in bed, he had been really upset.

His hands were slowly getting better. He was getting upset it was taking so long, but everyday it felt like he could move his thumb and the rest of his fingers just a bit more, and even though his hands were too weak to really hold something, it was a change, and he was hopeful he would be able to use his phone and do easy things with his hands again. With all the physical therapy he was going through, he was seeing a bit of improvement, but he wished that it was more.

Gabby had gone back to work, and even though she felt bad to leave Matt alone in the hospital, it was necessary, as they were getting behind on rent, and the last thing she wanted was for them to get on the bad side of the CFD. Even though she worried about the rent, she was also a bit worried they were going to have to leave this house when Matt was coming home. Even though that seemed far away now, it was something she thought about.

Now that the function in his right hand was getting better, he managed to make voice messages for her and send them. He was nowhere the level of typing but pressing the button to record something worked with some help from the hospital staff, and she was happy that way they could stay in touch.

Especially now that she was back on shift, she was glad that he sometimes send her something. It made her feel a bit less bad about not being with him. She was sitting on her bunk, having breakfast. Usually she would have it in the common room, but she had just arrived and she knew that the first thing that they would ask her was how Matt was doing, and it was not really what she wanted to talk about right now.

Yesterday before she went home, he had been in a lot of pain again and she wanted to send him a message but wasn't sure if he would be able to see or hear it.

''Dawson, Boden wants to see you in his office.'' Connie walked up to her and Gabby got up, walking to the office.

Sitting down, she had already expected the first question that was asked.

''how is Matt doing?''

''Bit better every day.'' Gabby said. Even though she knew that was true, it did not always feel like that but the last thing she wanted now was go into detail about it.

''I went to the CFD again. I have a good feeling about Matt keeping his job, but I can't assure it yet.''

''Thank you for all the effort.''

''They are still doing a report on him and how the accident could happen, and you know he ruined radio protocol.''

''I know.'' Gabby said, looking down. She really hoped that it would be okay, but she also knew that there were things the CFD could use to have Matt on the chopping block.

* * *

He and the therapist worked hard every day and he got excited when Gabby came by and he could finally show her something they had worked on. It was hard to control the muscles in his hand but with some splints he could finally put the right pressure on the muscles.

Today he was finally allowed to sit up for a bit and he tried to be excited, but with his neck still sore he was also a bit scared about how it was going to go.

The last few weeks only Kelly and Gabby had been around him. Now that he was slowly allowed to sit up he was hoping that he would finally be okay to have other people around. As much as he wanted them to support him, even Gabby and Kelly couldn't look at him without looking pitiful and that was the last thing he wanted to deal with.

One of the nurses brought him a lift to get him out of bed and he tried to sit up himself as much as he could, but it didn't work at all and even though he got upset, he knew he had to keep going so that he could finally sit up. It seemed so simple, but everything was so hard now.

His therapist helped him as they got him from the bed and into the wheelchair. He hated that wheelchair for all that it encompassed, but he also believed that he could do it, that he was going to walk again and wouldn't need it.

It was hard to sit up now that he could not move his stomach or chest muscles.

He was just sitting up, struggling with keeping his neck straight as Gabby came walking in.

''Oh you are sitting up!'' She said to excited, kissing him on his cheek. He was sitting ab it unstable and it was hurting his neck, but he was so proud he was sitting up now that Gabby came in.

''it feels good to finally sit up.'' Matt smiled. Even though he was not sure how long he was going to keep this up, it was nice to finally be out of the bed.

Even though his neck was still very sore, it was great to feel like he was improving, and Gabby was smiling happy at him as well.

''See, it is all going to work out.'' She smiled. She knelt down by him and slowly he managed to move his arm her way. She laid her hand over his.

''See, you are getting there.''

''I know.''

Matt sat up for a few more minutes, but it was getting too much then. With some help from the staff, they got him back on the bed and Gabby grabbed one of the pillows she took from home, stuffing it in his neck to make sure he was comfortable.

''Anything else I can do?''

''Can you get that pillow for my arm?''

She nodded and took it from the table beside his bed, laying it under his arm and Matt was looking at his hand, slowly moving his thumb.

''Soon you will be able to text me again.'' Gabby smiled, kissing him on top of his head.

''look who finally got dressed.'' Kelly joked as he walked in and saw Matt on the bed, finally out of the hospital gown but changed into his own pajamas.

''Feels good to finally change.'' Matt joked back as his friend sat down.

''I'll get us all some coffee.'' Gabby said as she got up and walked to the hallway.

''I just sat up.'' Matt smiled proud at Kelly.

''That is great.'' Kelly said as he sat down.

''Few more minutes every day, hopefully will get to sitting around longer again in a while so that I can get used to living in that chair.'' Matt said, although he hoped that would not be the future.

''Here you go.'' Gabby handed Kelly a cup of coffee, sitting down next to Matt then with hers, where she was usually sitting.

Kelly and Gabby told a bit about the shift. Evne though Matt hated that he could not work on shift either, he was glad he was kept up to date. He knew that everybody wanted to see him, but he did not want anybody to see him like this. He knew that at one point he had to let people see him, and he was getting lonely, but he did not feel ready.

Kelly left soon and Gabby decided to stay a while longer. Food was served and he didn't even look at it.

''You need to eat.''

''I don't want to.''

Only since two days they had gotten him of the feeding tube and he had to eat with help now, but he did not want to, the last thing he wanted was for Gabby to have to feed him.

''Matt, we are married.'' She said a bit worried.

''That is exactly why, I am not even feeling we are husband and wife anymore, just nurse and patient.'' Matt said a bit sad. The last month she had not been away from his side, and as grateful as he was, it made him think about how their marriage was going to be from now on. Even though it was too early to completely know how he was going to recover, he was scared this was how their marriage was going to be.

''Are you okay?'' Gabby asked as she saw tears well up in his eyes.

''My neck really hurt again.'' He admitted, and she wasn't sure what to do. She really wanted to help him, but besides medication, there was not much she could do about the pain.

''Need me to get somebody?'' She asked a bit concerned.

'''Well I mean… I can't do it.'' He said a bit annoyed and Gabby pressed the call button.

She had put it closer to his hand last week, but even when he had managed to push it with his elbow he couldn't move his arm off, and it had kept the whole floor awake. Now he refused it again and she felt bad he could not even get somebody to help him when he needed it.

A bit annoyed with his temper she walked out of the room again. She couldn't blame him for being upset with everything every now and then, but it was hard because she felt she couldn't really complain to anyone.

Walking back in, he was moved a bit and he looked a bit more relaxed, so hoped he had gotten painkillers to help with his neck.

''You know what I have been thinking about?'' Matt asked then and she shook her head.

''That it is good we lost Louie…I mean, I mean imagine if he had to go through this too.'' Matt said, his voice breaking.

''Matt..''

''it is true though.'' He said biting his lip, looking out of the window then. The last few months they had still been thinking about a family, and it was all out of the window now.

Gabby's eyes filled with tears as she thought about Louie.

''Why would you mention him now, he has nothing to do with this?'' She asked as she started to cry.

''Sorry Gabby, I just thought about it.''

''Maybe don't, or don't mention it.'' She sniffed and he tried to reach out his hand.

''Sorry, you are right, I should not have said that.'' Matt said and he felt bad. It was just something he had to think about. They had seemed like such a happy family then and he still missed Louie so much, but the idea that he would have to go through this as well made him a feel a bit better that he was with his own family now.

''I am going to go.'' She said then, kissing him and leaving.

Matt looked as she left, feeling bad about what he had said. Laying here alone and not being able to do much, he felt so bad for thinking these things, but he could not help that these things popped into his head sometimes. He had a lot of time to think, and it was not the best things he was thinking sometimes.

Looking at the food that was still on the tray table, he closed his eyes. He hoped it would get better, with his body and between him an Gabby. It had been one accident, but now the consequences of it where so big.

Gabby sat in the car, not sure if she was going to go home or not. The last few days she had tried to sty positive between being on shift and with Matt here, but it was starting to feel really bad that she could not so much to help him, nor to make him feel better.

It was getting lonely at home and even though she tried to see people, with Mat there and work, it was hard to see people outside of work.

She drove to her brother's house then, hoping that she could talk with him. Knocking on the door, he opened the door then.

''Hey, mom said you were concerned about me.'' She said and he nodded.

''I am so glad to see you Gabby.'' He sighed as he moved closer to her.

''I honestly just really need my big brother.'' She said sad and Antonio wrapped his arms around her.

''Come in little sis.'' He said and Gabby did so. She saw down on the couch and Antonio grabbed her something to drink, sitting beside her then.

''Really glad to see you.'' He said as he sat down beside her. ''I didn't want to bother you and Matt and mom said you might need some space.''

''Thanks for giving that – Matt…Matt wants the space…and he doesn't want anyone near him.'' She said, really struggling with what was happening to them. Now after a month reality was setting in and she wanted her family near her, even if Matt still refused it.

''I know it is rough for you both, I am really sorry you both have to go for this.'' Antonio said. He knew neither his sister nor his brother in law was to blame for what they were going through.

''He doesn't want any support from anybody and he is pushing everybody away. I really need somebody to tell me it is going to be okay.'' Gabby admitted, so glad she finally could talk again with somebody that was not Matt. Even though they tried to talk, it was not the same.

''It is going to be okay Gabby, you and him are strong together and you have gone through a lot of hard times, I know you can get through this too. I am here if you need me.'' Antonio promised her.

''This is not how I had imagined our marriage, and it is hard, he started about Louie and I realized that we might never have a family if he does not get better.'' Gabby bit her lip.

''How is he improving?''

''He sat up for a few minutes today, his hands are slowly getting better with therapy, but it is all touch and go pretty much. One day he can do more than the other. He still believes that he will fully recover…and I want to too, but it is has been a month, and for now I just hope his hands and arms get better.''

''I am really sorry Gabby he deservers better, and I hate to see you having to go through this too.'' Antonio said. Gabby started to cry and Antonio pulled her against him.

Even though Gabby knew nothing was going to get better this quick, she felt a bit better having this support from her brother.

She just hoped that she and Matt could support each other, and he would let other people support him.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it and please let me know what you thought!**


	5. The fight

**Thank you for reading the first chapters and all your reviews, it means a lot! Thanks again and please enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

Gabby was packing up her stuff as the shift was almost over. There was only a few more minutes on the clock and even though she liked her work, she wanted to leave as soon as she could. She wanted to see Matt really bad and hoped that he had a better day today than the past week. He had had a lot of trouble with the pain in his neck and she was worried that it was going to push him back. Plus with the pain in his neck he still didn't want to see anybody. Antonio had seen him for a few minutes this week, walking in after he had been working on a case and questioning somebody in the hospital, but even now he still did not want to see anybody else.

Today, later on after shift, many of the people firehouse would come by in the hopes that Matt would finally see them. They wanted to support him, and it was sad that Matt did not take the support of the people that wanted to offer it.

She was glad when shift was over, and drove straight to the hospital.

Matt was awake and dressed, and laid in bed, his phone and his hand and although he was struggling, she was glad to see he was still trying.

''I've been trying to call you for 2 hours to ask if you could bring headphones, but it didn't work.'' He said as he looked down at his hands.

''You will get there…and I will bring them tonight.''

''Thanks.'' He smiled and they kissed.

Gabby took the phone from his hands and put it on the charger. He had been struggling with it for so long the battery was almost drained.

''How was your shift?'' He asked then as she took his hands in hers. His thumbs were still trembling a bit, but it made her happy, knowing that it was a big improvement for now. He was putting a lot of work in it, and he finally got some control of his thumb. His index and middle finger were also getting a bit better as well. Although his ring and pinky did not seem to regain feeling for now, he was hopefully that he would be able to manage doing some stuff himself soon.

''Oh you know, same old same old, there was naked lady being carried out of the building by Otis, same old same old.''

Matt started to laugh.

''You need to tell me about that.''

''Well, if it's okay with you I want to take you downstairs for a bit, so they can all see you – and Otis can tell him yourself then.''

''Are they all here?'' He said, the smile disappearing from his face.

''Yeah, we will just go down for a quick drink if that is okay with you.''

''No, I don't want them see me like this.'' Matt said then, looking away.

''Matt, they care about you.''

''I don't want them to see me, Gabby.'' Matt mumbled upset. ''What? You are excited to show them I can now drink coffee from a straw? I know they care about me, but I am not ready for them to see me.''

''I am sorry, I thought you might like it.'' Gabby said, feeling bad he did not like the surprise.

''I appreciate the gesture, but now is not a good day, Gabby.'' He admitted, and she nodded.

''I will go tell them.'' She said, feeling bad as she left the room. Even though he had already been in here for almost five weeks, he had still not wanted to see anybody except for her and Kelly.

Gabby came downstairs, saw the whole group of firefighters.

''Hey, Matt isn't feeling well…and thinks another time might be better.'' Gabby said a bit sad, wishing that he would finally allow people near him, but today was not the day. She talked a bit longer, feeling sorry they came all the way here, but they understood it was not good for Matt now.

She went back to his room, saw him looking upset.

''Well, Boden came in.'' Matt said a bit annoyed.

''I am sorry, he was already on the way up when I was at the others.'' Gabby said as she sat down.

''I know, he said he is trying his best for my job. Gabby, we have to start worrying about those medical bills.'' Matt said concerned.

''He was not supposed to tell you about that. Boden and Kelly are trying to their hardest.'' Gabby said as she laid her hand on his shoulder. He tried to move his arm to lay his hand on hers, but didn't get far.

''I do worry about that though.'' Matt admitted. ''And don't say we will work it out, this could cost millions of dollars.''

''I am sure Kelly and Boden can work it out.'' Gabby said as she got some water in the cup next to his bed. She grabbed a straw and held it out to him but he frowned at her.

''I don't want it Gabby.''

''Sorry I ju-''

''I don't want to hear it.'' He said mad.

''Matt, I can't help it you are cranky but-''

''But what Gabby, I know you can't help me, I can't help me, nobody can help me, but I am mad because I can't do anything for myself and now I might even lose my insurance!'' He said angry. ''All you want is for me to act like everything is fine and I am so happy to see everybody, but I don't want anyone to see me because I don't want to see myself like this!''

They were silent for a minute, Gabby trying to find the words to say while Matt was still panting from his outburst.

''You are going to work tomorrow, and I am going to be stuck here. There is nobody that can change that, but it makes me angry.''

''You could have allowed me to get up those stairs and help you out of that building!'' Gabby said, angry he was making her feel bad for going back to work.

''Yeah and have you in there with me when everything collapsed?!'' Matt said even more angry now. He had only wanted to protect Gabby, and now she was throwing it right back in his face.

''I could have helped you.''

''You couldn't. You could have died too, and I love you too much to have that happen!'' Matt started to yell now.

''Matt-''

''Get out already!'' He said mad, mad he couldn't go away and there was nothing he could do to let her go away.

''Whatever you want!'' She said even angrier and snatching her bag from beside the bed she walked out of the room.

His hands were shaking, that was how mad he was and he wanted to throw something, but there was nothing he could do to lose his angry in.

There was a knock on the door and he looked up.

''I said get out!''

''It's me.'' Kelly said, ''I ran into Gabby on the hallway.''

''Good, then you know what way to go to get out.'' Matt was fuming, and he hated people kept being around him when he wanted them to leave. He couldn't move and he started to feel like nobody cared anymore how he felt about all of it.

''I am not leaving Matt, you are my friend and I want you to know you can tell me everything you need.'' Kelly said and he sat down next to the bed.

Matt started to sob then, harder than his friend had ever seen him sob and Kelly sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to comfort his friend as much as he could. Matt wasn't saying anything anymore, he was just sobbing now and even though Kelly hated seeing him like this, he knew it was good his friend was finally letting some anger out. After a few minutes, Matt calmed down a bit.

''Come on, let's go outside for a bit.'' Kelly said then.

Matt didn't really say anything but with some help from the staff they got him in the wheelchair. Even though Matt did not really say anything Kelly hoped it would make him feel a little bit better.

Matt was silent as Kelly pushed the wheelchair down to the lobby. He wanted to object, still angry at Gabby and angry his friend would not leave him alone. His friend had no message to his objection though.

He was still angry as Kelly made their way to the cafeteria. Getting a coffee for himself and a coke for Matt he sat down with him again.

''Talk to me, what happened between you and Gabby.''

''I don't want to talk about it.'' Matt said angry. Looking down at his hands on his lap, he didn't want to talk to his friend anymore. It made him even more angry that Kelly seemed to know what was better for him than he did.

Leaning with his arms on the table now, Matt was struggling sitting up as the muscles in his chest and stomach didn't work anymore.

''Anything I can do to make you feel a bit better?'' Kelly asked concerned as he saw his friend looking more and more upset. Even though Matt had already been upset when he had walked in, he had hoped to make his friend feel a little bit better.

''No, no.'' Matt shook his head. ''But thanks for being here.''

''I am sorry that you and Gabby are hitting a rough patch, you were doing so well.''

''I know, she is trying to hard and I just…I just got so mad. She doesn't deserve that.'' Matt said sad.

''I know you don't mean it that way…I am sure she understands that.''

''I hope so.'' Matt said as Kelly held out the cup of coke for him so he could drink it. Even though he had not wanted his friend here earlier, he felt grateful he had Kelly now, and it was nice to get this of his chest.

Gabby came walking by then, on his way to his room and Kelly jumped up to stop her.

''Gabby, gabby!'' Kelly said as he got up, running after Gabby. He stopped her and she walked along with him to the table.

''Hey.'' Matt just said, not sure what to say. He was glad to see his wife but was not sure what to say after the fight from earlier.

''I will leave you two be.'' Kelly said and he left, Gabby still sitting next to Matt, silent.

''Can we go back to my room soon? My neck is starting to hurt.'' Matt said, upset he had to ask this to Gabby now. All he wanted was to talk out their fight from this morning, but his neck was starting to kill him and it became harder to sit up. Gabby nodded, and they made their way back to his room.

''Do you want me to get a nurse or?''

''You are my wife…but you are mad with me.''

''I am not really mad with you.'' Gabby sighed. ''I mean we are both under a lot of pressure, and we both said things we regret.''

He nodded but was also glad she wanted to help him. Even though he hated that she needed help, it was nice that Gabby helped him, his wife, instead of the nurses. She tried to help him on the bed.

Putting his arms on the edge of the bed, he tried to help as much as he could. She held him close and helped him lay down.

Grabbing the pillow for his neck, she made sure he was comfortable. Even though she had been really angry with him, now she just wanted to make him feel better, hoping that it would finally help him feel a tiny bit better. Even though they had their problems and still had a long way to go, she knew they needed each other more than ever, and shouldn't fight.

''Are you comfortable?'' She asked concerned.

''I don't know Gabby. I just feel so mad, and sad and I feel happy I still have you, but then I feel bad about pushing you away. I am sorry I am doing this to you.'' He admitted as she sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing his hand in hers.

''I married you because I love you for who you are. You are so strong, and I know you can get through this, no matter how things will end up.'' Gabby promised him again.

''We will have to rebuild so much.'' Matt said sad. ''It will be months before I can go home…and with the insura-''

''I don't want you to worry. Really, I know everything is going to be okay.'' Gabby promised him and she laid down against him, still holding his hand and just glad they had made up. She knew it was not going to get any easier son, but with everything going on was the last thing she wanted was fight with him.

''All I need you to focus on is recovering as much as you can and being happy with me again.'' Gabby said as she caressed him through his hair, careful and he smiled. They shared a kiss and she hoped that he would listen to the words he said and follow her advice.

She got off the bed then, still afraid to hurt his neck and sat down next to the bed.

''Want to play some cards? It's been a while.''

''Ehm, sure.'' Matt said then, glad they had made up.

She grabbed the little tray table that they kept close to the bed in case he needed it and she started to get the game ready. Handing the cards to Matt, she looked as he tried his best to hold them.

''You got the worst person to play with.'' Matt said as he struggled holding the cards, as well as picking up new cards. But patiently she looked, just wanting him to try and glad that he was trying. She was sure it was good for his fine motor skills and he didn't seem to get too upset with himself.

''Still kicking your ass.'' Matt joked, dropping the cards then and with a smile she covered her eyes with her hand.

''Come on, I don't want to see your cards.''

''It's safe.'' He told her a minute later as he was holding the cards again, this time with two hands.

Handing him his cards, it made her happy they were playing cards again like they did a lot of evenings at their home. He kept smiling at her, and she was glad to see him so excited and happy.

''Your turn to grab a new card.'' She told him and he nodded.

He wanted to try himself again, but he knocked over the tray table instead as he tried so and Gabby just managed to move out of the way as the table and cards fell to the ground.

''now you are just cheating.'' She laughed, and he laughed along.

''You know it; guess I won.'' He laughed as she was picking up the cards. She was glad that he could have a laugh about it and didn't get upset.

''I am really sorry about our fight today.'' Matt said then, still feeling bad about earlier.

''I know, me too….and I don't want to keep dwelling on what could have happened. This happened, and its horrible, but we can't change it. We can just make the best of it.'' She said and he smiled.

''Yeah you are right with that…and I will do my best to recover…fast.''

They shared a kiss, not sure what the future would bring, but even though it had been hard, they would face it together.

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 **Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it and please let me know what you thought!**


	6. Rehabilitation

**Hi! Thanks so much for coming back for this story. It is a quick update after the last one (and a very long one), but since my personal situation makes updates a bit irregular, I just try to get out chapters when I can. Chapter 7-8 are also almost done, so you can expect those soon as well. I hope youa re still interested in this story! Views are going down a bit, but I enjoy writing this story, so I hope you enjoy reading it too! Thanks so much again and please enjoy this next chapter!**

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It was the end of shift when Kelly got in the car, driving home. He knew Gabby was going home to pick up some stuff, but he went to go see Matt now. Yesterday afternoon he had been moved to a rehabilitation center.

It was still strange being on shift without Matthew. As he had not been very open to them while he had been in the hospital, it was hard to say how he was improving. Kelly had of course seen him, and he didn't have high hopes Matt was coming back to work, but some of the others still had hopes of Matt coming back to work.

At the center, he ha asked for the room at the reception and he was led there. Matt was already dressed on the bed and Kelly guessed he had already talked to his doctor and had had therapy.

''Good morning, look at you with this massive room.'' Kelly said. It was a large room and a bit homelier than the sterile hospital room.

''Good morning!'' Matt smiled, looking up at his friend.

''Back on the medication?'' Kelly asked concerned as he was hooked up to an IV.

''Hey, sorry, had a bad night, but trying to look a bit better before Gabby comes.'' Matt admitted.

''Bad in what way?'' Kelly asked concerned.

''Lots of neck pain, tense muscles. I don't feel it, but when my body shakes it keeps me awake.''

''Shit man.'' Kelly sighed, looking at his friend.

''it will be fine.'' Matt promised him, ''Plus I still have to take a lot of medication, but that was not what I wanted to ask. I wanted to ask you if you can go into the city and buy something for me – well, I mean, a gift for Gabby. But from me.''

''Of course, just tell me what.'' Kelly nodded, glad there was finally something he could help his friend with.

Matt showed him the picture, sending it to him then.

''I will go and get it and try to get it back to you.''

''Thanks, you are a great friend.'' Matt smiled.

Kelly saw his friend was tired and needed to go for therapy soon and he left him alone.

Gabby made her way to the rehabilitation center for the first time as well, after picking up some stuff from home. There, she was told Matt was still out for physical therapy, but was let into the room already and waited by the window for Matt to come back. The room was on the second floor and looking down she saw the garden. There was a small table with a second chair, and she knew she could have dinner together here with him if she took it. Hopefully that would finally make them feel a bit more like husband and wife again.

A staff member of the center brought Matt back and helped him back on the bed.

''Hey, sorry, I am really tired.'' He admitted as he was back on the bed and Gabby kissed him.

''That is fine, nice room you have here.'' She said, smiling and looking around at all the stuff he had had at the hospital already, and was here as well. The wall was decorated with cards and it made her happy the staff looked after her husband so well.

''They moved everything for me.'' Matt chuckled and smiled at her.

''Spoiled prince.'' She joked, kissing him. She sat down on the edge of the bed, glad it was a bit more of a private room than the hospital room and he moved his hand to her leg. She laid her hand over his. It was still hard and there was not much he could do with his hand, but as he was moving his arm and his hand a bit again, he was just glad that there was some improvement.

She looked at the wheelchair that was in the corner of the room and even though he hated it, he was glad that he would be able to get around again.

''I took some stuff for your new room.'' She said as she started unpacking the bag.

''Show me.'' He smiled from the bed and looked as she pulled out some framed pictures, as well as the throw from the couch and another stack of clothing. Putting the clothes away, she put the pictures on the table across from his bed and covered him with the throw.

''Thanks, I feel at home now.'' He said, ''except I really miss you.''

''Well, you are a lot closer now, so it will be a lot easier to visit you.'' Gabby smiled, trying to keep him positive. ''They said its fine too if I make dinner and take it here. We can eat together again.''

''I like that.'' He smiled and she moved towards him, kissing him.

''But – will you also clean up the mess of me at dinner?'' He joked and she nodded. ''Yeah, only cause I like you.''

They laughed and she was glad he was in a good mood. She bit her lip, knew she had to tell him something,

''Matt, I know you are not going to like it, but Boden is coming by today.''

Matt didn't say anything, looking past her out of the window.

''Sure.'' He sighed then.

There was a knock on the door and Matt was taken for occupational therapy. Gabby did her best to make the room a bit more personal and cozy with all the stuff she had taken. Matt would at least be here for a few months, and even though she knew she could not make it his home, she hoped that he would at least feel comfortable being here.

Matt was in occupational therapy. He had it two times a day now, and even though he didn't really like it, he knew it was the way so he could improve.

It was only the first day, but he knew that there would be more of a rhythm in his days soon. Two times occupational therapy, two times physical therapy and meeting with a psychologist twice a week.

It was a bit upsetting to learn all the things that had been so easy on him the past 34 years, but all he wanted now was to get better, so that he could go home, and be with Gabby again. It would take a long time, he knew that for sure, but knew he had to fight for it too.

After working on his fine motor skills for an hour, he was brought back to his room and Gabby was there, sitting in a chair by the window. The therapist helped him back on the bed and Gabby moved the chair closer.

''Hey, you still here?'' He said a bit surprised, as he had expected she would go home while he was gone.

''I waited for you. I have nowhere to be all day so I want to be with you here all day.'' She smiled.

''I really like what you did to the room.'' He smiled. She had put some candles and even a fake plant around now and even though it made the room a bit more cluttery, it really made him feel special she put in all this effort. It made him feel loved and feel the room a bit more like home.

''New splints?'' She asked as she looked at his hands. The fingers weren't stretched out now, like with the last ones, but more curled, and it looked like he could finally grip some things again.

It was a bit confronting as well, seeing how everything was different for her husband now.

''Yeah, should make it possible for me to move the chair as well.'' He explained as she took his hands in hers. He pinched her hands as much as she could.

''Do you want to get outside to meet Boden?'' Gabby asked as the weather was nice, and there was a little garden they could sit to talk.

''Yeah….I got this bar, so I can start working on getting myself around.'' Matt smiled, looking at the bar above his bed. Although he was not able to get himself around yet, it was a nice idea that he could finally look forward to doing things himself again. He grabbed the bar above the bed and struggling, with some help with Gabby, he managed to pull himself up. She was holding him and helped him sit down in the wheelchair. In the weeks since the accident he had lost a lot of muscle mas sand weight, and she was shocked how light he had become.

Sitting down in the chair, he was worried about falling over, but sitting back then, he was also glad to be out of bed. She helped him get his jacket on and they made their way outside. It was the first time he was outside since the accident, and he liked to see the garden.

There were some table as well and Gabby made sure he was comfortable, getting something drink and came back then.

''Are you okay?''

''Yeah, it is nice to be outside.'' Matt smiled. Gabby nodded. She couldn't imagine what it was like to be stuck inside all the time like he had been. He hoped that he would get to go out on his own now soon

''Aren't you cold?'' She asked a bit concerned.

''Honestly Gabby, I can't really tell.'' Matt admitted. She was holding his hand, making sure he was not getting too cold.

Looking towards the restaurant of the center he saw Kelly then. He knew what Kelly was here for and looked at Gabby.

''I think I might be cold, do you think you can get the throw from the bed?'' He asked and she nodded, Kelly sneaking out when she was gone.

''Did you get it?''

''Yeah.'' Kelly smiled, handing the nicely wrapped box to him. Nervous, Matt tried to grab it and dropped it then.

''Can you put it in my jacket pocket?'' He asked and Kelly did so.

''Your grip is getting better.'' Kelly said, even though his friend had dropped it, he was able to bend his fingers a bit now.

''Yeah, I am really glad about the recovery so far.'' Matt said with a small smile. He wished it was going a lot sooner and he was already better, but for now this made him very glad he had survived and was progressing.

Gabby came walking outside with the blanket.

''Hey Kelly!'' She said a bit surprised.

''Just came to say hi.'' Kelly said, leaving soon. Gabby wanted to lay the throw over Matt but feeling his neck she looked a bit questioned.

''You are hot. I don't think you should have the throw on.''

''What you think is best.'' Matt told her and she put it away, sitting down beside him again.

''Boden should be here soon.''

She held out the cup of water to him and he drank some with a straw. It was one of his first goals, because he did not like he needed help with something as simple as drinking but was glad that his wife was here to help him.

They saw Boden coming and Matt wished he could get up to meet the chief, but barely managed to extend his hand.

''It is great to finally see you again.'' Boden said, shaking Matts hand and Matt nodded.

''it is good to see you too.'' Matt said. Last time he had seen Boden only for a few minutes, in his room, but he felt a lot better seeing his old chief now.

''Any update on the CFD?'' Matt asked a bit nervous. He had bene thinking about it a lot recently.

''The CFD has cleared your slate, and you got moved into disability. They still don't agree with what you did on the radio, but the last thing they want is for you to lose all care.'' Boden said. ''They want you to know that if there is anything they can do for you, you can contact them. Me personally? I still hope to see you back in the firehouse.''

Gabby pinched his hand, so glad to hear this. It meant that they would not have to worry about losing insurance and going bankrupt.

''That is really great to hear chief, thanks so much.'' Matt sighed relieved, tears filling his eyes.

''You look a lot better than you did the last time I saw you, and I hope to see you recover a lot more.''

''I will. I might not get back on the ladders, but you can rest assured I will do my best.'' Matt smiled and Gabby looked at him. Up until yesterday, he had still been talking about full recovery and now it seemed he had accepted that was not going to happen.

Boden left and Gabby got a bit more water. Even though Matt was not sure how long he could keep up sitting outside here, he was happy to sit outside with her, and it was nice to finally have the sun on his face again.

''I uhm…I asked Kelly to get something for you…don't worry, I gave him a picture of what he had to get.'' Matt chuckled a bit, nervously. He tried to grab the gift from his pocket, but his hand was not cooperating.

''Can you ehm, can you grab something from my pocket?'' He asked then and Gabby did so, taking out the little gift.

''What is this?''

''You will have to unpack it.'' Matt smiled, and Gabby did so. She ripped the paper off and saw the box of a jeweler in the big mal they went to sometimes. Opening it, nervous, she saw a small silver necklace.

''It is so beautiful.''

''You like it?'' Matt asked nervous.

''I love it, you didn't have to-''

''But I wanted to, and you deserve it.'' Matt said and kissed her on her cheek. Gabby looked at the pretty necklace again and put it on then.

''I love it Matt, thank you so much.''

''I am glad you do. But I think we need to go back to my room soon.'' Matt said, his neck starting to hurt a bit and they made their way back to the room. In the room he wrapped his arms around her neck she helped him get back on the bed. It was still hard to do, but they knew Matt would still recover more so that things like this would get easier. She got his shoes off and put his legs on the bed then as well.

''I really like the necklace.'' Gabby said as she looked at it in the mirror.

''I am glad you do.'' He smiled. She had been amazing to him these last few weeks and he was glad he could finally thank her in a way.

''We need to talk about the future.'' Matt said and she nodded. She was holding his hand on the bed and even though they had wanted to avoid this, she knew they had to.

''I spoke with my doctor this morning before you were here. We talked about my hopes and expectations and reality.''

''That must have been hard.''

''Yeah.'' Matt admitted, ''but I hope I can recover as far as they expect. That is that I will be able to use my hands enough to be in independent…and I know it is not what we hoped for –''

''Matt, anything is enough for me.''

''But I won't be able to walk, or go back either firefighting or contracting…and I won't be able to do everything for myself. I won't get all the feeling in my body back, and I can't blame you if you can't deal with that.'' He said sad. Even though he trusted Gabby, and he believed in their love for each other, he knew it was a lot.

''It will always be enough for me. All I need in my life is you…and it won't be easy, but I know we can do it.'' Gabby assured him. They shared a hug, Gabby wrapping her arms around him. She knew it was going to be hard, and that it would take a while to get adjusted to this situation, but she didn't care. She loved him so much, and no matter what would happen, she would never leave him.

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 **Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it and please let me know what you thought!**


	7. The Firehouse

**Thank you for reading the first chapters and all your reviews, it means a lot! Thanks again and please enjoy this chapter.**

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On her way to the rehabilitation center she picked up some coffee. She was a bit nervous as well about how it would be at the firehouse today. She had swapped her shift with somebody from the other shift, so that she could be with Matt today and take him there.

When she arrived in his room, he was already dressed and she sat down on the edge of the bed.

''You look great.'' She said as she took his hand in his and he pinched her hand a bit. It was nice to see him ready to go out again. He was wearing his blue sweater and jeans that he always liked to wear when he was off shift and she was glad to see him in it again. The clothes were a bit too big now he had lost most of his muscle mass.

''Not feeling really pretty.'' He admitted. It had been a hassle to get dressed this morning and there wasn't a lot he had been able to do himself.

''I got you a coffee too.'' She said as she handed it to him, Matt struggling to hold it a bit.

''You better get a straw if you don't want me burned on hot coffee.'' He said and she took it again, taking the lid off and putting a straw in, holding it out for him.

''How are you feeling about today?''

''Nervous, but I think it will be good to see everybody again.'' He mumbled and she smiled a bit, glad that he was feeling positive about it.

The staff came to help him get out of bed and in the wheelchair and seeing how bad he was struggling and how much it hurt him, she was worried it would be a long time before he would get out of here.

He was seated then and she was packing up her bag with the stuff they needed to take.

''Can you help me for a second?'' Matt asked then and she turned around.

''Ofcourse, what can I do?''

''Can you get my shoes on...I can't bend forward.'' He said and she sat down on the edge of the bed and got his shoes back on. She struggled a bit, but was glad that he asked it without feeling too embarrassed. She hoped that with the therapy and the splints he could operate this wheelchair himself soon, cause even though she did not mind doing it for him. She was glad that he finally went to the firehouse today.

She finished up with his shoes and made sure his legs were secure on the leg rests.

''Can you feel any of it?'' She asked and he shook his head.

''No, not at all.''

She grabbed his jacket and he leaned against her as she put it on. It was hard to sit up because the muscles in his stomach and chest barely worked, and he was worried about falling over, but Gabby held him close and helped him sit back again.

''Ready to go?'' Gabby asked as she zipped up his jacket.

''As ready as I am going to be.'' Matt said with a nervous smile.

''They are so excited to see you.''

''I just feel nervous.'' He admitted, looking down.

''We don't have to this if you don't want to do this.'' Gabby assured him as she pulled the hood from his jacket straight, looking at the scar in his neck.

''I mean, I can't keep away from them forever.'' Matt said and she kissed him on top of his head.

''You know I am really proud of you right.'' She said, glad that he finally seeing the others again, and that he was still working so hard on his recovery.

''Thanks.'' He smiled and he moved his arm a bit until she grabbed it on the armrest. They got ready to leave then and Gabby pushed the wheelchair to the van they were told to go to. Gabby had wanted to take him there in her own car, even though it would be a bit of a hassle, but the center had offered one of the staff could drive them with a special van.

There was a ramp on the side and she pushed it up, getting some help from the staff member with securing the wheelchair.

''What a hassle.'' Matt sighed a bit annoyed. Getting in a car had been so easy before, and now he needed so much help with everything.

In the van she sat sideways then so she could see Matt. She looked as his hands were shaking on his lap.

''Bit nervous.'' He admitted, and she took his hand. In the last few weeks his strong and big hands seemed to have become a lot thinner. Lovingly she caressed his hands, just glad that he was okay to go out today and that he would finally see his family at the firehouse again. Even though he knew that his firehouse family really cared about him, he had not been ready to see them. It had been six weeks ago since the accident ton the job had happened, but it had taken him all this time to feel ready to let somebody else near him than Gabby and Kelly.

At the firehouse she saw he was even more nervous, and she kissed him on his cheek and they made their way inside. The rest were waiting for them in the common room and they smiled happy when they saw Matt.

''hey, how are you feeling!'' Kelly broke the silence, glad to see his friend out outside of the hospital and the rehabilitation center.

''Decent, very decent.'' Matt smiled, shaking all of their hands. He had been so nervous to be here, but it was like he had just come home.

''Can I get you something to drink?'' Kelly offered.

''I- I can't drink anything yet.'' Matt said as he looked down, feeling a bit bad. He could when Gabby helped him, but he did not want that here. Kelly looked at him, ofcourse knew he could, but didn't say anything, knew Matt was struggling doing it on his own.

They all gathered around the table and even though they were ready to leave in case of an emergency, they were also glad to spend time with Matt after all these weeks. Mouch and Herrmann sat by the table with him, Boden joining as well but Otis and Cruz kept a bit more distance. It seemed they were not sure what to say to him. Not even Matt was sure what to say, he was sure that he had to talk about his recovery, and how he was doing. But he only told every that he was doing good, not really wanting to get into it.

''So how are things really going?'' Herrmann finally asked.

''As good as could be expected.'' Matt admitted and even though it hurt Gabby a little, she was glad he was speaking the truth. It had really not been easy on him, and not even on her, but how it was going now was still positive for her.

''it is mostly just hard work now, trying to regain all of the function in my hands and getting used to how things are now.'' Matt admitted. ''Everything that I can do now, is progress, but not much progress is expected after a few months, so I hope I improve fast.''

Kelly was the first the speak. ''We are here for you man.''

''I know, I know, and I am sorry I didn't come here sooner.'' Matt said.

''Well, you had a building crash down on your neck, so we will cut you some slack.'' Kelly joked back and they all laughed a bit. It was hard for them all to see Matt like this, but after one and a half month it was also nice to finally be reunited.

''It looks like I will recover enough to be able to use my hands, and so get myself around in this chair, learn to drive an adapted car, that sort of stuff.'' Matt said positive. Even though he still hoped for more, he realistically knew that this was something he could hope for and make true.

Nobody knew what to say, and Matt felt bad for even telling this now. Not wanting to tell much more, he turned to Herrmann then.

''There is some stuff in my office I would like to take.'' Matt asked Hermann.

''I put all your stuff away, but if you want I can get it for you.''

''Can we go together? I would love to see it again.'' Matt said and Herrmann nodded. He pushed the wheelchair towards the office and made sure Matt was okay as he took the box from under the bed.

''Here it is. I figured you would leave it all here, for when you are coming back.'' He said as Matt took the box and put it on his lap. He struggled getting the lid off, and Herrmann helped him.

''Look at me, I don't think that is going to happen.'' Matt said, feeling bad as he said it, but Herrmann looked really sorry.

''It is not fair.''

''it was an accident.'' Matt said, not wanting Herrmann to pity him any longer.

''But it is still not fair.'' Herrmann said. Matt looked down into the box, seeing all of the stuff that had been there till the morning of his accident. Herrmann sat across from him.

''I feel weird saying this to my lieutenant…but are you really okay, kiddo?'' Hermann asked worried.

''I uhm…I guess I am. It is hard, but there is nothing I can change about it.'' Matt said then, the question of Hermann really coming home to him.

Tears started to well up in his eyes.

''I don't know, honestly.'' Matt admitted and he started to cry. Herrmann felt bad about asking and handed Matt a tissue.

''I am so sorry.'' Hermann said and he meant it. ''Is there anything I can do for you?''

''No.'' Matt shook his head, trying to dry his tears. ''Sorry, I just…this office and my stuff...and I don't want to keep complaining to Gabby, she has been so good to me. I want to come back to this job, but I can't.''

''I wish I could give you this office tomorrow already.'' Herrmann said, his voice breaking too.

''I am only 32, and I had so many dreams for me and Gabby, and now I am not sure if those can actually happen.'' Matt said, still sobbing.

''I am so sorry man. I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, at least I do hope that you and Gabby can go through this. I am sure you can come through this stronger.'' Herrmann said.

''Thanks.'' Matt said with a sad smile and drying his tears, looking at the stuff in the box.

Together they went through the box and there was a knock on the glass door. Before Herrmann could say anything, Otis and Cruz came barging in.

''Lieutenant, we need your opinion on something.''

''Me?'' Herrmann frowned.

''No, Casey.'' Otis said, holding out a belt in front of him then.

''We call this tag along. We can put it on during a call and drag people after us, out of buildings.'' Cruz said.

''oh…oh that is…an idea.'' Matt said, saw Herrmann roll his eyes.

''it's going to be the next great thing.''

''We will put it in trial soon!'' Otis said excited.

''Yeah that is great.'' Matt lied and looked as they smiled, high fived and walk back to the office.

Herrmann was trying to contain his laughter.

''Please never make them use it.'' Casey laughed at Herrmann, glad that they shared a laugh now.

''Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it. Morons.'' Herrmann rolled his eyes.

As much as he had missed it here, Matt was glad to see nothing had changed.

Gabby knocked on the door and smiled at

''Taxi is here.''

Matt had the stuff on his lap as they made their way to the van.

Back at the center, Matt was so tired from the visit he fell asleep as soon as he was back in bed. The pain in his neck was so bad now that he got some extra painkillers, and she looked as he fell asleep.

Gabby pushed the comfy chair closer and took the book he had taken from his office. The book in one hand, she was holding his hand with the other.

Even though she was just reading a book, she still liked being around him and looked up every few minutes, looking as he was still fast asleep.

She was glad he was knocked out after seeing him in so much pain and she sat just reading, holding his hand and glad that even though the sitting had caused him a lot of pain, he had finally seen everybody again.

After finishing the book, she walked out to get something from the vending machine and coming back, she saw Matt was laying on his side, tears in his eyes.

''Was trying to move a bit.'' He said, laying awkwardly. He had tried to pop up on his elbow, but as there wasn't much power he could put on his arm he had lost his balance.

''I got you.'' Gabby said as she helped him turn a bit more, putting an extra pillow in his neck and pulling the blanket up.

''Are you comfortable?''

''Not really, can you call nurse?'' Matt asked, feeling a bit bad as Gabby had really tied to help him.

''Ofcourse.'' She said and got somebody from the staff. She had wanted to help him, but also knew that Matt needed a lot more than she could offer him with her limited knowledge.

She got one of the nurses working there and went to get some water while they helped him. As much as she wanted to be with him, she knew that she couldn't help him right now. Walking back in, he seemed a lot more comfortable again.

''How are you feeling now?'' She asked as she walked to the bed and kissed him on his forehead.

''A lot better…can you come here for a second?'' Matt asked and she sat down on the edge of the bed, carefully and moving a bit closer so she was close to him. Carefully she laid down, crawling against him and she took his arm then that was close to her, wrapping it around her.

''is this okay?''

'''this is great.'' He smiled, and she kissed him on his cheek. Her hand caressed over his chest, and he kissed her on her cheek.

He couldn't feel much of her caressing, but he was glad that she still loved him and she kept touching him. It was scary enough for him to find out how his body worked now, and he was glad that she helped him so much. She held him close as he was falling asleep again. She crawled even closer against him. After all of these weeks, she was finally close to him again and she was so glad to feel his body close to her again, as much as it had changed.

She smelled his smell again and started to doze off as well, with his arm around her.

Even though today had been hard, he was glad he did it, and it gave him a lot more energy to see all the men that were supporting him.

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 **Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it and please let me know what you thought!**


	8. The Cabin

**A few weeks later**

Gabby drove her car to the rehabilitation center. Matt was already waiting outside with a staff member of the center and she was glad to see he looked very excited.

''Excited to go?'' She smiled as she got from the car, kissing him.

''Yeah. I think that is great to finally get out of here for a bit – no offense Tom.'' Matt smiled at the staff member that was helping him in the and he nodded.

''No offense taken, have a good weekend.'' The staff member said after helping Matt in the car.

''Thanks.'' Matt smiled as Tom showed Gabby one more time how to collapse the wheelchair.

''Need a hand?'' Gabby asked Matt then.

''Got it.'' He assured her, pulling his legs into the car and sitting back. She put his stuff in the trunk of the car and walked around it then, sitting down behind the wheel.

Finally, they were alone, for the first time in a long time. Even though the doctor hadn't advised Matt to leave the center, they were going to for a few days. Matt had said he really needed some time out of here, and some time with her. She had arranged with her mom that they could go to her parents Cabin and spend time there together.

Gabby was just happy they would finally spend some time together, and even though she knew they both still had a long way too go, they needed this.

In the car, she made sure he was comfortable before they drove off. Her parents cabin was a three-hour drive away but they were actually excited for it. It was three hours they could finally talk without people constantly interrupting them. Today also marked 3 months since the accident on the job.

''I am going to get some coffee; do you want anything too?'' She asked as she got off the highway at a rest stop.

''Yeah. I would like some too.'' Matt nodded.

''I will get your chair-''

''No, uhm, I will wait in the car, too much of a hassle.'' He said as he knew it would be a big hassle to get in and out of the car. Looking as she walked inside he hated he could not just easily come with her.

She came walking back with two cups of coffee.

''Thanks.'' He smiled as she put it in the cup holder as he was worried to spill it over himself while it was still hot.

''Matt- you are not a hassle.''

''I know, I just didn't feel up to the effort.'' He said, looking out of the window. He felt Gabby's hand on his hand that was on his lap.

Looking her way he smiled, knew that he was not a hassle for her.

Just before noon they arrived at the cabin. She helped him out of the car and into the chair and he put his bag on his lap. Gabby pushed his chair up the slope and opened the door, Matt rolling inside.

''It is still a gorgeous cabin.'' He smiled. He was so glad to be here with her. Lately it had been hard to keep going with his recovery. He had to, and he knew he had to, but it was hard to keep going constantly while he was missing Gabby and home.

They put their stuff away and while Matt laid down for a minute, his back hurting from the bumpy car ride. He was on the couch, looking as Gabby was making them lunch.

''Let me know when you need a hand.''

''No, I will be fine, but thanks.'' She smiled back at him. As lunch was simmering, she walked his way and sat down on the armrest of the couch.

''I was thinking we could do some fondue tonight, like we sometimes did at home. I even took the pan.''

''I like that.'' He smiled and she sat down on the couch, careful not to sit on his arm.

''Your back okay?''

''Yes, just not used to long car rides, but it is fine.'' He assured her and she caressed his chest. Her hand traced down and he took her arm then.

''I don't really want to feel your hand….and then not feel it.''

''Okay.'' She said, caressing through his hair.

''I think you need to get going before dinner gets burned.'' He said as he saw a lot of steam and she jumped up. As she was finishing dinner, he tried to pull his chair closer. He had practiced this the last few weeks, but he was still worried that he was going to fall.

It was hard to hold onto anything with his hands, even with the splints and it made lifting himself back in the chair even harder, now that he could barely hold it.

Gabby saw him struggle and wanted to walk his way.

''Don't Gabby – I need to do this myself.'' He panted, struggling. Finally, he managed, putting his feet down on the rest and putting his hands back on the wheels, making it to the table.

Gabby put the food at the table and stacked up some food on his plate. Even though it was still hard on him, she tried not to help him too much anymore. The last thing she wanted was for him to get upset again.

With the splint he managed to eat with his right hand, dropping a little every now and then, but at least he felt they were having lunch together now, instead of him having to be fed again. After dinner he put his plate on his lap and made his way to the kitchen, putting it away as Gabby stood behind him.

''Thanks.''

''I am not useless.''

''I never said that.'' Gabby smiled and they shared a kiss. As Gabby was finishing up the dishes, Matt was making his way to the porch. With the splints around his hands it was a little bit easier to move his chair, so he managed to get himself around for small stretches now. Gabby looked as he struggled and walked his way.

''Need a push?''

''Yeah, gonna need one.'' He admitted, and she pushed the wheelchair to the porch. Sitting down on his lap, she kissed him. Looking over the view by the lake, Matt wished that they would never have to leave here. He felt a lot better than he had the last few months and seeing Gabby happy made him happy too.

''How about we got fondue going later so that we can enjoy it and cuddle up by the fire?'' She offered and he nodded.

''Yeah, I like that idea.'' He smiled at her. It was pretty cold outside, but they held each other close.

''We should go to the shopping soon.'' He said and she nodded. It got dark early here and the last thing he wanted was for her to have to drive through the woods late at night. They had gone for some late-night shopping last time, but now it didn't seem like a good idea to him. It made him feel bad he could not do that for her anymore, but didn't want to think about too long now they were on holiday.

''Come on, let's go.'' She smiled and she helped him in the car. Even though she had offered he could stay here, he seemed a bit scared to stay alone, so they decided to go together.

At the shop he struggled getting from the car back in the chair, but with some help from Gabby he managed. Some people stared at them. Matt tried not to mind him, but it did bother him.

He had the basket on his lap and as they made their way through the shop, Gabby let him pick out most of the stuff. It took him some effort to get it off the shelves, but she was glad to see he was trying it. The splints he had now made it easier to grab things, and soon they had gotten everything. Back in the car, they drove home, putting the groceries away and making a tea, taking it out to the porch.

She pulled a chair closer and sat down beside him.

''I am really happy to be here, I really am.'' He smiled as they looked out over the water.

''Me too, it is nice to finally really be together without the staff constantly barging in.'' She smiled and kissed him on his cheek, looking out over the water as well then. She was holding his hands in hers.

''What are you thinking about?'' She asked as she caressed over his cheek as he was still staring over the water.

''Just, about us.'' He sighed, and she laid her arm around him, kissing him on his cheek.

''What about us?''

''That I am really glad to have you.'' He said as he looked at her. She laid her hand on his cheek and they shared a kiss.

Sitting outside for a bit longer, they got dinner ready then and got settled on the couch by the fire. Even though it was not really cold, it was nice to get cozy here by the fire.

Gabby pulled the table closer as they sat on the couch, She leaned against Matt as they started eating, enjoying the fondue. Since he only had to put something on the fork and dip it in, it was easy for him to eat as well. The last weeks she had ate with him at his room every evening she could. He hadn't been home for three months now, and it was hard to keep going this way. She hoped that he could finally come home in a few months. She knew they were aiming that he could come home in 3 months, but they knew that it might take him even longer.

She laid against him as they were having dinner, cozy by the fireplace.

''Best thing I have eaten in a while.'' Matt smiled. He also liked that it was easy to eat, and he didn't feel like it was hard to eat.

''And no nurses interrupting.'' She smiled. After a while, they had had enough and they had another plan for the evening.

''Let's go in the hot tub, it will be good for you.'' She said as she knew it was good for his muscles.

''Yeah, think I can use a little hot tub for my back.'' He said as his muscles were tight from the busy day. As nice as it was, it was very different form his useful day, and he could feel the muscles in his back tensing up.

''Need a hand?'' She asked as she helped him in his wheelchair.

''I can manage myself.'' He assured her and she let the tub fill up. She as really glad that Matt enjoyed being here, and they managed together. She had been a bit nervous about it, not sure if she could handle the care for him, but he managed to more and more himself, and it was nice to see him exciting to do things himself.

She followed him, getting changed in the bedroom herself. She heard Matt in the bathroom, getting ready for the hot tub as well. She wanted to knock on the door and ask if he was okay but knew that he could manage himself. She also did not want to give him the feeling that she was doubting him now.

Waiting back in the kitchen, she made some drinks for them to take with them to the hot tub.

Matt came her way, ready to get in the tub. There was only a towel over his lap and he moved the chair to her side.

''Can I help?'' He asked as he made his way closer.

''No thanks, I have everything ready.'' Gabby smiled, kissing him on his head. They went out to the deck and she put the drinks on the edge of the tub, Matt following her closely.

''Come, I'll help you in.'' She said as they were ready to go in.

He laid his arms around her neck and she lifted him up, helping him sit on the edge and holding him as she lifted his legs over the edge.

''Can you feel any of it?'' She asked as she helped him into the tub and his legs hit the water.

''Can feel it a little bit, just on my one hip and thigh, but something.'' He smiled, holding her close. She was so glad that they finally got to spend some time together again. It had been a rough few months since the accident, and that was understatement. He looked down at his legs in the water and she helped him sit down then, scared he was going to fall of the edge.

Undressing herself next to the tub, she got in then as well, sitting close to him.

''This is good.'' He sighed, the water and bubbles relaxing his muscles. She laid her hands on his shoulder, kissing him on his neck then. She felt the scar under her lips, holding him close.

They cuddled, feeling close and glad they were finally together again. She held his body, get familiar with it again while he felt hers again, as much as he could.

Kissing, he laid back a bit, his arms wrapped around her, a bit worried he as he felt he couldn't swim anymore, but Gabby held him close. Letting go after the kiss, his head knocked the glasses off the edge.

''Sorry! Always wrecking stuff.'' He smiled.

''I will get us some new drinks.'' She said as she got up, walking to the kitchen. Walking back the drinks, Matt was laid back now, looking relaxed.

''We need to talk about something, Matt.'' She said as she sat close to him.

''Yeah, yeah of course.'' He said as he wrapped his arm around her, struggling a bit, but glad that he could do it again.

''I know it is still a few months away; but the lease of our apartment is almost done. We need to decide if we are moving or extending.'' Gabby said. It was not something she wanted to decide in one night, but now that he was out of the center she hoped that he could make up his mind a bit easier.

''I want to stay. That is our house we moved into together and got married.'' He said, not even thinking about it.

Gabby nodded, got what he was saying, but she was a bit concerned because it was not a very accessible house.

''I know we probably have to move.'' He admitted, ''I want to stay, but I know it probably is not an option.''

''We could do some remodeling in the house, make it more accessible.''

''And have another contractor do the work I should be doing?'' Matt looked down, ''that actually would hurt me more than moving.''

''Moving it is then.'' She said, biting her lip. She wished that he would just allow people to help him but she also knew that it was hard on him, and she could understand why. He had always been doing everything himself, and he could imagine that it was hard to see somebody else do it instead.

In the dim light she saw tears filling his eyes.

''I know this is not easy Matt, you don't have to decide now.'' She assured him.

''I mean, we have to move, we can't stay there, not with me now…. '' He mumbled softly. ''We got married, and we lived there so happily, and I feel bad that you have too leave too, because of me.''

She held him close.

''You don't have to feel bad about that, we can make a home somewhere else.'' She assured him.

''Yeah.'' He nodded then, trying to smile.

After a while, they got tired and got out of the tub. Matt lifted himself onto the edge of the tub, Gabby holding him close, worried he was going to fall of the edge as his core muscles still were weak.

''Do you want to do anything else before bed ?'' She asked wrapping a towel around him, Matt trying to get back in his chair, Gabby just grabbing him in time before he could fall.

''I am honestly really tired…maybe we can call it a day?'' he admitted.

''Ofcourse.'' She said, kissing him o his cheek. It had been a long day and she figured that he was also up a lot later than he had been recently.

''Come on, let's head to bed.'' She said and struggling he got on the bed. Even though he was a lot lighter than before the accident, he only barely managed to get himself on the bed, glad it was low so gravity helped along.

''How are we going to do this tomorrow?'' Matt asked a bit worried as he pulled his legs onto the bed.

''We will work it out.'' She assured him, getting his shoes off. He smiled though, glad to be out of the rehabilitation center for a few days and finally with his wife again.

She helped him with the shirt, but he shook his head.

''I need to do it myself, Gabby.'' He said and as she got ready for bit, he did so as well. It took him a lot longer than before, but he was proud that he finally managed to get himself undressed and Gabby came walking his way.

She sat down next to him as he looked down at his legs. They had gotten very thin now that he couldn't use them anymore.

''Not much left.'' He smiled, a bit sad.

''I don't care, you look perfect to me.'' Gabby just said and he laid his hands on her shoulders. She laid against him as he rubbed her shoulders. He didn't have a lot of power in his hands, but she loved he was trying it for her, and it felt nice.

They laid cuddling on the bed, glad to finally be close again. It had bene three months since they had been this close. Laying close with her face to his, their noses against each other.

Kissing again, they laid in each other's arms, just glad to still have each other.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading, I hope you like this long chapter! Please let me know what you thought and hopefully till next chapter!**


	9. The fundraiser

**A few days later**

Walked into the center, she was excited to see Matt. He had been working extra hard since the weekend, determined to get out of here as soon as possible.

His room was empty and she saw Tom down the hallway. Quickly she followed him, catching up with him.

''Hey, where is Matt?'' She asked a bit confused.

''I think he is in the gym.'' Tom smiled at her and Gabby followed the signs there. Looking through the window beside the door, she saw that he was alone in there. Struggling but trying his best, he was holding a ball between his hands, tossing it at the wall and trying to catch it again. It slipped between his hands and bounced on the ground. She walked inside, almost silent as he was trying to pick it up.

His hands didn't have the power to pick it up and he was leaning even more forward. She heard him cursing softly and she grabbed his shoulders just in time before he could fall over.

''Are you okay?'' She asked as she pulled him back and picked up the ball for him.

''Core muscles are still a mess.'' He panted as he sat back again. Slowly he made his way to the rack where the balls were stored and she waited for him by the door.

''Didn't know you were allowed to train on your own.''

''Only Tom is in on it.'' Matt admitted. He put the ball away and made his way towards her.

They shared a kiss and she pushed his chair back to his room. She was glad that he was improving, but she didn't want him to tire himself out too much tonight. He did not know yet, but she really wanted to take him out tonight. It was a Saturday night, and she and the others had something prepared for him. Well, the others had mostly. It had been a surprise for her too until yesterday.

In his room he moved back to the bed, laying down tired. Even though he had only been doing the exercise with the ball for half an hour, he was exhausted. It was especially because trying to pick up the ball every time that had made him so tired. His legs not working upset him, but not being bale to use his core muscles and his hands properly infuriated him.

Lunch was brought in and he looked at the food on the tray. He wasn't hungry, but it was mostly that eating was still hard, and it took him so long he often didn't feel like finishing it. Luckily Gabby had been patient with him about it and motivated him a lot.

''I took some too. We can even swap.'' She offered and he laughed.

''Thanks, but I think I will eat what they want me too.'' He smiled, glad to have her here so that they could have lunch together.

She walked to the table and got the splints he used for eating, carefully putting them around his hands.

''I think I will get to the table for eating.'' He admitted and as she put the food on the table, He managed to get himself in his chair, a bit annoyed as he pulled his legs down from the bed,

Sitting the table, they had lunch together.

''Oh…by the way…I need you to take it easy this afternoon.'' Gabby smiled.

''I wasn't planning on doing something excited, but why?'' He asked curious.

''We are going out tonight.'' She told him, smiling as she was glad that he was laying down now.

''Really? Not dinner, right?'' He asked a bit concerned.

''No, not dinner, don't worry.'' She said, not sure why he was so against it. They had always looked going out for dinner together.

''That sounds good.'' Matt smiled, he was glad that Gabby tried to take him out, He wasn't very comfortable in his body now, but at least she made him feel that he was not trapped in this building, while he was trapped in his body.

''I am not really hungry anymore.'' He admitted, his plate still half full.

''You need to Matt, especially after training.''

A bit upset he looked down. He wanted to finish it, but it took long, and it upset him.

''Fine.'' He mumbled, finishing the plate as Gabby was putting in effort to make things better for him by taking him out as much as possible, and he also had to put in the work himself.

After lunch, she helped him get back in bed.

''How about I leave you be for a bit? I will be here at seven.'' She promised him, saw how tired he was. Honestly, she was worried he was not going to make it tonight, but he seemed really determined.

''That sounds good, I could really use a nap.'' He admitted. She got the blanket from the chair and put it over him. Leaving him be, she got to her car. She really hoped that he felt up for going tonight and he wasn't too tired by the work he had put in this morning. Even though it worried her a bit he was doing that, she knew Tom was keeping an eye on him, but was also proud at him for trying to hard.

She drove to Molly's, where she was taking Matt tonight. Some of the others were already there. She parked her car nearby and walked inside.

''hey, anything you still need for tonight? I think it is really great you are going this…I mean you don't have to-''

''No Gabby, you and Matt deserve to stay in that house, and if we can help, then that is all I need you to do is getting Matt there tonight.'' Kelly smiled.

''Thanks, this really means a lot to me, and I am sure it will to Matt too.'' Gabby smiled.

''We are grateful we can do this for you.'' Hermann assured her.

''You know, Matt has done what Matt is good at, being stubborn.'' Gabby chuckled for a second. ''Found him in the gym this morning, apparently, he has this plot together with one of the staff members, so he can train on the weekends.''

Kelly laughed, Otis had Herrmann nodding in approval. It was nice to hear this, since it was exactly what Matt was like and it showed he was ready to defy all odds.

Just before seven, she walked into his room at the center. He was dressed and ready to go but sitting by the table with his head on his arms.

''hey, what is wrong?'' She asked worried.

''Just sore from training.'' He admitted as she rubbed his shoulders.

''Do you still want to go?''

''Yeah, I just – I haven't had a lot of bad days, and this is the first really bad one, just on a night I am going to see everybody.'' He admitted as he looked up.

''They are very excited to see you, but I think they will understand.''

''no, no I want to go.'' Matt said and they made their way to her car. Tom had offered to drive them but he wanted to practice getting in and out of her car.

At the car, she supported him as he slid into her car. Sighing deep as his back hurt, he leaned against the side, sitting sideways. He looked as she walked to the back. Taking a deep breath, he turned and pulled his legs inside the car.

''You okay?'' Gabby asked concerned as she sat down at the driver's side.

''Used to be a lot easier.'' He sighed as they drove off.

They drove to Molly's. He was a bit nervous to go here, but after months it was also nice that they could finally feel like their old life again for a night.

She was also very excited to find out what he would say about the surprise that they had planned for him. Somewhere in her mind she also knew it could be he didn't like it at all, but she tried not to think about that.

At Molly's, she parked as close as possible, getting his chair from the back and he had opened the door. Although he had slept this afternoon, his back as far as he could feel it had started to hurt.

''Are you okay?''

''My back is really bad.'' He admitted, Gabby wanting to support him get in his chair, but was he wanted to swing his legs out of the car, his back started to hurt even worse.

''Matt?'' She asked worried, saw him struggling.

''Can you get Kelly for a second?'' Matt asked and she nodded. Sitting in the passenger seat, he felt defeated. He had been practicing get out of the car, but he felt to tired, and everything hurt. Kelly came walking his way with Gabby and he felt a bit embarrassed as Kelly lifted him out of the car and into the chair. That Kelly was his friend made it a tiny bit easier, but he couldn't look at Gabby, worried that she would see he wanted to go home.

''We are going in by the back.'' Kelly explained and Matt sighed a bit relieved. There were steps at the back as well, and he would need help there as well, but it was better than having everybody look at him at the main entrance.

''Figured you didn't want to put on a show.'' Kelly said and Matt nodded.

''Just get it over with quick.'' Matt admitted, and Kelly nodded. He laid his arms around Kelly's neck and Kelly lifted him up quickly. Gabby carried his chair up the stairs and Kelly put him back down. Matt looked away, not sure where to look or what to say. He hated how he needed help getting into his favorite bar now. But even though he was upset about it, and he wanted to get upset about it, he knew now was not the time. He was here now and should just have a nice time now he could.

''All good?'' Kelly asked concerned.

''Yeah, all good. Just have a lot of muscle ache so you might need to give me a push.'' Matt admitted. Gabby looked, glad that Kelly was so patient with his friend, and that Matt felt comfortable around him.

Through the kitchen they made it into the bar, Kelly opening the door and letting Matt go on his own now.

Surprised he looked as most of Molly's was full, but there were also some pictures with his picture on it. It said fundraiser, but even now it did not sink in what they were doing until later.

''What is this?'' Matt asked laughing, not sure what was happening.

''We are gathering money, so we can remodel some things in your house…us all, and you don't have to move, or hire a contractor.'' Kelly explained; ''We know that you don't want another contractor doing it, but we hope you don't mind it when it is us…and you will have to give us directions.''

''Thanks guys, this really means a lot to me.'' Matt said and tears filled his eyes. Even though he had expected he and Gabby would have to move, this changed it all and it meant a lot for them. It meant a lot because he did not really want to leave his house, and now they did not have to.

Hermann handed him a glass of water as he wiped his tears away. His hand was shaking so bad Gabby took the glass from him, but glad that the gesture had moved him so much, and that he was happy with it. On shift, they had talked about their house. It had bothered Gabby they had to move and mentioning it on shift made them all want to help them. She had been really nervous about how he would react to this, but now she was glad that he was happy about it.

''I really appreciate it a lot. So much has changed the last few months, and I am getting used to it, but you can't imagine how much it means to me that we don't have to leave our house.'' Matt said, addressing them all and Kelly and Herrmann both laid their hands on his shoulder.

''It means the world to me.'' Matt said, tears streaming down his cheeks now. He tried to stop them, but the gesture really moved him.

They went to the back of Molly's, where there was a lower table and got settled by it. Matt still had the glass of water in front of him, not sure if he could pick it up, but luckily Kelly saw him struggle and walked to the bar, coming back with a straw. None of the other said anything, and Matt didn't want to say anything about it too.

''Heard you are sneaking out of your room to do extra training. That is really good.'' Herrmann said and Matt nodded.

''I try, to makes me feel good.'' Matt admitted and

''Matt, have you given some thought on the tag along we showed you?'' Cruz asked, Otis looking at him as well, curious what he was going to say.

Matt couldn't help but laugh a bit.

''Not really, but I might need to get one so I don't fall over anymore from this chair.'' Matt joked back and carefully some others laughed as well.

They chatted about more about sports and the firehouse, not really wanting to keep talking about Matt's injury anymore. They supported him, but also knew he did not want to keep talking about it anymore.

After a while, she saw Matt was getting tired and they called it a night soon. Kelly helped Matt on the way out again and he was already struggling staying away in the car.

At the center she was glad Tom was still there and helped them out. She was glad to see that the staff really cared about him.

Soon Matt on the bed and she decided to stay until he fell asleep. Matt's lip started to shake and worried she took his hand.

''I am so glad we don't have to move.'' Matt broke down, so grateful for what they had done for him. Although he did not want to hire a contractor to do it, it was different when it were his own friends. Tears streamed down his face, upset about the pain, and his body, but also so grateful for everybody around him.

Carefully she climbed onto the bed next to him, her head on his chest, holding him close. She was so glad to have him and was so glad that they could say in the home that was theirs.

Holding him close, letting him let his emotions out, she just loved him, holding him close. Loving him so much, she just hoped to see him comfortable and happy again soon. She couldn't help but starting to cry as well. Holding each other close, they held onto each other, like they had been for the last few months.

* * *

Aaaand another chapter! I hope you liked this chapter, thanks so much for reading. Please leave a review and hopefully till next chapter!


	10. Home renovations

It was just before lunch as Tom dropped him off at home. Gabby wasn't waiting outside yet, and he took the moment to take a breath and work on his composure before he could go inside.

It took him a minute before he felt okay going inside. It was months ago since he had been here, in the apartment that he and Gabby had always called home. It was strange how things had changed. He noticed the ramp either Gabby or Kelly had put at the entrance, and as he was looking the door opened, Gabby walking outside, smiling as she saw him.

''Need a hand?'' She asked worried, not sure if he was able to get up the ramp himself.

''Yeah, yeah, I just needed a minute.'' He said and Gabby walked his way, helping him up the ramp.

It was weird to be home again. It was almost four months since he had been here. Especially in the beginning, he had not been able to do anything, and now he was at least in his own home again, even if it was only for a day.

''Hey Matt!'' He heard behind them and it was one of the neighbors. Gabby and him knew her from the annual neighbor barbeque. She and her husband lived in the apartment beside them.

''Oh, hey.'' Matt said, not really wanting to talk to the lady. She was nice, and he was sure that she had heard about what happened, but he did not really want to talk about it.

''Does this mean you are coming home?'' Miss Johnson asked as she smiled at him and Gabby.

''Not yes unfortunately. '' Matt sighed.

''Is it going to take much longer?'' She asked concerned.

''Before Christmas hopefully.''

''Alright, I will let you get going. Good luck with the rest of your recovery.'' Miss Johnson told him.

''Thanks.'' Matt smiled. Gabby pushed the chair to their door and opened the door for him.

 **''** Everything is still the same.'' He smiled. It was a lot cleaner than he was around, and he knew it was because Gabby di don't have to pick up all his mess after him all day now.

''I need you to screw in a light bulb, let alone I am changing the whole house.'' She joked and they laughed. She started to get lunch ready and he set the table, except for the plates.

''You either have to hand me the plates, and we need to move them, or I need to learn how to fly.'' Matt said as she pointed at the cabinet where they were, high up.

''We will have to move it. And we will.'' She promised as she grabbed the plates and put them on the table. As she wasn't done with lunch yet, Matt carefully made his way around the house.

The house seemed a lot narrower now that he had to get around in a wheelchair.

A bit annoyed he picked up a bag with clothes Gabby had left on the floor and tossed it aside.

''Are you okay?'' Gabby yelled worried, hearing the noise.

''Yeah, just had to get something out of the way.'' He yelled back, looking around the house.

He got to their bedroom and looked around for a few minutes. It was long ago since he had woken up here together with Gabby. It was long ago, but emotionally it seemed even longer ago.

He made his way to the dresser in the back of the room. There was a picture of their wedding and he picked it up. Holding it in his hands, he thought back about the day. He wished he could go back that day, it been the happiest day of his life. His hands were shaking, and he tried to keep holding the picture. The frame slipped from his hands and knocking off his knee, it fell on the floor, shattering.

''Shit!'' He hissed, moving back before the shards would cause a problem and moving back, he got stuck on the carpet under their bed.

Trying to get off, he couldn't find the power in his hands to get off and he sighed deep.

''Gabby?'' He yelled and she came walking his way.

''I am stuck.'' He sighed a bit annoyed and she pulled his chair back. She wanted to push it back to the kitchen, but he moved his hands on the wheels so hers slipped of the handles and he moved into the hallway.

''What is wrong?''

''I am just annoyed.'' He admitted. ''I am annoyed I can't make my way through my own house.''

''We will get rid of the rug.''

''it is not the rug, it's that I can't seem to do anything like I used to and I already dropped that too.'' He said, pointing at the picture on the floor. Gabby walked to pick up the frame and the broken glass, but she stopped.

''We can still move.'' She offered.

''no, that is not the point, I am just annoyed I can't do it.'' He said and looked down at his hands. Even though he was able to do a lot more than just after the injury, it annoyed him that there was so much that he could not do.

She pushed his chair back to the table so that they could have lunch.

They had lunch in silence and she was just putting away the dishes after, Matt in the bathroom. She knew that the men of the firehouse would come over soon.

Soon they did, and Matt felt useless as they started. He really wanted to help but knew there was not a lot he could do.

Gabby, Otis and Herrmann started to work on the sink. Matt looked, knew they meant well and he tried to explain a bit, but he got a bit annoyed with how clumsy it was going.

''Let me help.'' Matt said as he moved a bit closer, trying to grab the wrench, but he dropped it again, not having the coordination and power in his hand to hold it.

Gabby looked concerned as he moved back, getting out of the way. Even though she saw he was

He looked as he as they started to remove the current sink and counter to make place for one that wasn't too deep, and Matt could use with his chair as well.

Cruz was helping Kidd out with removing the rug under the bed and in the living room and he wanted to help but knew there was not anything he could do. A bit upset, he moved to the hallway.

''hey, can you help out for a second?'' Kelly came walking his way and he followed his friend. Kelly and Capp were working on a stone bench they were making in the shower, so that Matt could sit in the shower.

''What do you need me to do? Wouldn't trust me holding stones.'' Matt asked.

''We wanted to make sure that it is high enough.'' Kelly said and together with Matt they worked it out. Matt still felt bad he could not help them, but it was better than having some other contractor do it.

Going back to the hallway, worried he was in the way, he looked around. Everybody was doing something, but there wasn't a lot he could do. He tried not to get upset because he really did not want to feel this way.

''Think it is time to order pizzas?'' Gabby asked as she saw him looking a bit lost.

''Finally, something I can do!'' Matt sighed, and he made a round around the house, asking everybody what they wanted and ordered the pizzas. After that he moved to the backyard. They had made a ramp for it as well. Even though they did not have a big garden, it was nice to be here again.

Gabby walked behind him, wrapping her arms around him.

''it is nice we can stay here.'' He said and she kissed him on top of his head.

In the back of the garden they would also make a gate to the back alley soon, because Matt did not want the ramp to stay at the entry. The last thing he wanted was the neighbors getting involved with his injury. Gabby had told him it should be fine, but it was his call and he had opted to enter their house at the back. She did not like it, but she knew it was his choice and the last thing she wanted was to upset him.

A little later, the pizzas arrived, and they called it a day.

''I am really proud of all the work you did.'' Matt said and he meant it. Even though it was not done yet, it meant so much for her that the guys were putting all of this work in for him, on their day off. Although he was giving some comments helping out a little bit, they really had done a lot of research on how to do it.

''We were glad to help!''

They had another drink together, and the people of the firehouse left soon to leave Matt and Gabby alone for a bit. They figured the couple wanted to spend some time together too now that Matt was home for a few more hours.

Matt was still looking around the house, so happy they could stay.

''how are you feeling?'' Gabby asked concerned. She knew it had been a long day for him, walking to the couch, wanting to give him a hand as he wanted to transfer to the couch, but he shook his head, doing it on his own.

''Tired.'' Matt admitted as he moved onto the couch. Gabby took his legs, making sure he was comfortable and sitting down between his legs, laying down against him.

She was holding his hands. After the long day and not wearing his splints now, his fingers were curled up and she was holding them, carefully caressing them. Moving over his pinkie, she kissed his hands.

''Can you feel that?''

''Mostly, pinkie not so good, but a little.''

She kissed his hands again and kissed him on his mouth.

''I am glad to have you here with me, even just a for a bit.''

''And I am glad to be here.'' He smiled. Wrapping his arms around her, he pushed his face into her hair, so glad to be at home again with his wife close to him.

''Let me know when you want me to drive you back.'' Gabby said softly, not sure how tired he was.

''I don't want to get back yet.'' Matt admitted, and she laid down again. Caressing her hand over his chest, she kissed him again.

''I am grateful you stayed with me all this time.'' He said as she kissed his cheek.

''Of course, why wouldn't I?'' She asked a bit worried.

''A lot has changed this last few months. I can't blame you for however you feel about it.'' He said as he tried to sit up a bit more, Gabby helping him sit up.

''Well, I love you. And whatever comes our way, we can get through.'' She promised him again, leaning against him. It was not easy, but she loved him more than anything. Even though their lives had changed so much.

''It is crazy to think that the last time I was here, I walked out of this house and hours later…I broke my neck.'' Matt admitted as he looked around.

''I thought about that as well.'' She said as she was turning his ring.

''When I woke up and they told me I was paralyzed, I was really worried about what was going to happen to us.'' Matt mumbled. ''It was the first thing I thought about.''

''Oh Matt.'' She said, sad to hear he had been worried about that.

They shared another kiss and lay close to each other. Laying close, they were so glad to have each other. Softly talking, loving to be home together again for now, the hours seemed to go by very small.

''Alright, I think it is time for me to go back.'' Matt said sad. Even though it had been hard this morning, it had been nice to be home again.

Gabby pushed his chair closer to the couch and helped him get back in. She could not wait for him to come home indefinitely. Especially now their house was adjusted for a large part. She knew there was some more to be done, but she was glad that this was a new beginning for her and Matt, but in their old house.

''Wish I could stay here tonight.'' Matt admitted.

''Me too, but hopefully in a few more weeks.'' She said as she rubbed over his shoulders. He nodded and they made their way to her car.

Going back to the center, he wished he could stay at home tonight. Being home and spending time with Gabby there, he wished that could be their life again.

As she left to go home again as Matt was ready for bed, she felt bad going home without him as well. She saw he was struggling with it as well. Feeling so horrible about it, she tried tot think of a way to cheer him up.

* * *

 **Here is chapter 10 already! I hope you liked this chapter, thanks so much for reading. Please leave a review and hopefully till next chapter!**


	11. The Birthday Party

''Happy birthday baby!'' Gabby smiled as she came walking into his room. He was on the bed, surprised she was here so early and smiled. She kissed him, so excited to see him and tell him about the party she had organized for him.

''Thanks babe.'' He smiled, smiling at her.

''I got you a gift….'' She smiled as she rummaged through her bag and handed him a wrapped card and gift. He opened the card first.

''I love that, thanks so much.'' He said as he read it. She had arranged a weekend in January for them together at a lodge near a forest and national park, not too far from the city.

''I called them…and it should be all accessible, so it should be fine.'' She said and even though he wished it wasn't needed, he did not want to run into problems. It would be so nice to spend time together like they did at the cabin.

Opening the gift, he saw the gift was new jacket for their getaway at the lodge and they kissed.

''Thank you, I really love it, already one of the best birthdays ever.''

Gabby chuckled, knew that this was not it and he looked questioning.

''We are celebrating it today. I am taking you to Molly's and we are all gathering there. Invited the firehouse, your mom, your sister and Violet, my family, it's going to be fun.'' She smiled, kissing him again.

''You didn't think about running that by me first?'' He said, looking a bit upset instead of happy.

''Well you better get that frown of your face because we are going to celebrate your birthday.'' She told him.

''Easy for you to say. You just make up these parties, you don't have to look at your mom and sister fighting at your birthday.''

''Maybe they will be fine. They are excited to see you.'' Gabby assured him as she was getting the clothes she had taken for him from her bag.

''Yeah worst-case scenario is they throw drinks at each other's head, best case scenario is mom minding her own business and Christie hitting it off with Antonio.'' Matt said a bit annoyed.

Gabby chuckled, couldn't help but found what he said a bit funny, as well his scowl. She knew it would only make him more annoyed, but he looked cute with the scowl.

Finally he seemed to light up a bit as well and looked at the clothes she had taken for him.

''I like it though, thanks.'' He smiled a bit and while he was getting showered, she cleaned up his room a bit. In recent talks the doctor had said that the aim was Matt would be able to go home in December, before Christmas.

Out of the shower, he was getting dressed, Gabby only helping him with what he asked.

''Babe, you are going to need to help me if you want me to wear that.'' He said as he pointed at the white button up shirt she had taken for him to wear.

''Sure.'' She nodded, not thinking about how his fine motor skills in his hands weren't good enough to close the buttons. She got it from the hanger and helped it get it over his arms, buttoning it for him.

Grabbing the wooden board, he used for transfers, he got in his chair and made his way to the bathroom.

''Need a hand?''

''No, I can do it on my own.'' He smiled.

''Okay.'' She smiled, standing in the doorway as he got to the sink, grabbing the comb and doing his hair.

''It is getting long.''

''Still looks good.'' She said as she stood behind him, laying her arms on his shoulder and kissing him on his head.

Soon they got to the car, Matt getting in on his own now with the wooden transfer board. Even though it took a lot of his energy, he was glad he could do these things on his own again.

They made it to Molly's and only Otis and Hermann were there yet. Even though Gabby had wanted it to be a surprise party, Matt preferred being already there as people arrived.

''Happy birthday!'' Otis greeted him first and Herrmann came walking his way as well. ''happy birthday.''

''Not going to call me kiddo now?'' Casey asked with a wink after their talk in the office when he had come to the firehouse for the first time.

''You are old now at 35.'' Herrmann joked and they laughed.

''You look a lot better, you really do.'' Herrmann said and Casey gave him an appreciative nod.

The bar was already decorated a fair bit, but Gabby was still running around with balloons.

''I never told my mom.'' He suddenly said when she came running by.

''What?''

''You invited my mom, but I never talked to her after the accident. She doesn't know.''

Gabby stopped, looking at him, feeling bad about inviting his mom now.

''Are you going to be okay?''

''She has to find out sometime.'' Matt smiled a little bit, looking down. He was nervous about what she was going to say.

Everything was done, and most of the people of the firehouse arrived a little bit earlier, making sure there was nothing they could help with anymore.

His mom was the next to arrive, and Gabby was quiet, nervous how Matt was going to react.

''Hey mom.'' He said a bit awkward as she hugged him, kissing him on his cheek. He had not seen her for years, and he knew he was to blame for that as well. He was sure she had heard about his accident, but while pushing everybody away after it, he hadn't even contacted her at all, and he did feel a bit bad about that.

''Matt…'' She said, a bit puzzled but glad to see her son.

''Maybe we can talk in the back for a second.'' Matt said and they made their way there. He was silent as she sat down on a chair in the kitchen. He didn't know what to say and his mom got impatient.

''What happened? What is going on?'' She said a bit angry as he wasn't saying a thing.

''I uh, had an accident on the job. Damaged my neck and back…and paralyzed from the chest down. Still regaining function in my hands and arms…but other than that, it is not looking very good.'' He tried to explain.

''Oh Matt, when did it happen?'' His mom said, tears filling her eyes.

''June.''

''Dammit Matt, it is almost October, why did you never tell me!'' She said angry.

''It has not been easy mom! I ended up from being a firefighter to not being able to get out of my bed.'' Matt said a bit angry as well.

''Sorry... I am just glad to see you now. I am just sorry this happened.''

''I can't change it. Now let's enjoy the party.'' Matt smiled as he and his mom made their back into the bar.

His sister and niece were waiting for him, Violet holding a gift for him, excited.

''Hey Violet and Christie, it is so good to finally see you again!'' Maat smiled.

''Gabby said you wanted this.'' Violet smiled as she handed him the gift and he ripped it open. There was a watch with fitness tracker in it and he knew he had to get it someday, so it would be easier to track his body temperature but hadn't thought about asking it for his birthday.

''Wow I love it, thank you so much. It will be handy.'' He smiled.

''Mom has one too, she said it works well.''

''I am sure it will, thank you, this is so thoughtful of you.'' He said as he tried to open the box.

''Can you give me hand? I would love to try it today, hope it monitors how much cake I ate.'' He joked and she nodded, getting git out of the box for him and around his wrist.

Christie smiled as well, glad he liked their gift.

''You two should get some cake.'' Matt smiled, saw there were more people that wanted to congratulate him and Christie and Violet did so.

All of the firehouse members had gotten him a gift together; a day out with the whole crew and it made him very excited. This morning he had not been so sure if he wanted to celebrate his birthday after this hard last few months, but now he was really grateful Gabby did this for him.

Looking at his family, he felt bad he had shut them out completely after the injury had happened. Except for his sister, he had not been in touch a lot, and not at all with his mum.

Seeing Violet looking at him, he grabbed an extra plate of the cake that Cindy had made for him.

''I got us some extra cake.'' Matt winked at Violet and she followed him. They were at one of the tables, chatting as they were enjoying the extra cake.

Nancy and Christie were sitting next to each other when he looked their way, and he was surprised to see his sister and mother talking to each other.

''Its hard to see to see him like this.'' Nancy admitted to Christie.

''I know, he is being really strong and positive, but it is still hard to see him like this.''

''Did he tell you if he is going to walk again?'' Nancy felt bad having to ask her daughter, that Matt hadn't told her.

''He said it is almost impossible, that he is focusing on his arms and hands instead.''

Nancy looked down, but then at the girl sitting next to Matt.

''Violet has grown up so much.'' Nancy smiled as they looked at Violet, chatting with Matt.

''She is a great girl…maybe…maybe you can spend some time with her?'' Christie said and Nancy looked excited.

''Í would love to.''

They smiled at each other. Even though there was a lot more to talk about, the last thing they wanted at Matt's party is to have a fight again.

''Having a good time?'' Gabby asked as she came walking his way as he and Violet had finished the cake.

''Definitely.'' Matt smiled, and she was glad to see him cheerful.

''Violet, Herrmann behind the bar there is making some mocktails, you should get one too.'' Gabby smiled at her niece. Violet got up excited and Gabby sat down beside her husband.

''And I got you a beer, birthday boy.'' She said as she put it down on the table and careful but managing so he brought the glass to his mouth and took a sip, Gabby taking the glass before he could drop it.

''I love that all these people took the time to the party, and all the gifts…and I also want to thank you for arranging all of this.'' He said grateful.

''You are so welcome!'' She kissed him on his cheek.

He joined the other men of the firehouse now with his beer. Kelly was glad to see his friend had improved more again. He was able to hold his glass now, although it was still hard.

''Thank you so much for the day out again, I am already very excited for it!'' Matt thanked them. In the card it said that he was invited for a sport match all together, a dinner and a surprise on the same day.

They chatted for a while, talking about some of the latest calls as well as the latest Blackhawk match. Even though it was hard to think he was no longer a part of the shifts, he was still excited to hear what they were dealing with at work. Some left a little earlier as they all had a shift earlier tomorrow morning.

Matt made his way towards his sister as the party was nearing its end.

''I saw you and mom talking earlier. Hope it was good.''

''Yeah, you know, maybe I should try to rebuild some bridges with her.'' Christie smiled and Matt laughed, really happy to hear that. It was nice that with everything going on, they could finally talk to each other, and Matt liked his family coming together.

Soon the party was ending. It had been really nice and Matt had really enjoyed it. After the accident he had bene worried that his life would be changed so much. It still was, but there were so many nice thing in his life now as well that even though things changed, he was so glad everybody was around him, supporting him.

Kelly went with him and Gabby to the car, knew his friend was tired and figured he needed a hand.

''Think you can give me a hand?'' Matt asked Kelly, feeling a bit bad about asking, but he was so tired. Kelly lifted him into the car.

They drove back to the center. Matt wished he could end this great day by sleeping at home, but he was so tired he knew he was also going to need some help when he got to the center. He had worked hard and was managing more and more on his own, but now that he was tired it was hard to do things himself.

In the center Gabby helped him getting ready to bed and helped him get in bed.

''So, did you enjoy your birthday?'' She asked as she sat down on the edge of his bed.

''I had a great time.'' He assured her. The day had drained him, but in a good way.

''I am glad to have you as my husband, and I am so proud of you. I am glad this has not brought you down.'' She said, talking about his injury.

''I know a lot changed and sometimes it makes me sad and angry, but Gabby – I can't change it, and I am alive, I have you and all our friends, and I know it is going to be okay.''

She kissed him, so glad for these words. A lot had changed since his last birthday, but their love had not changed at all.

* * *

 **Here is chapter 11 with Matt's birthday party! I hope you liked this chapter, thanks so much for reading. Please leave a review and hopefully till next chapter!**


	12. A Bad Day

Gabby had just finished shift when she was driving to the rehabilitation center. The morning after his birthday party she had started this shift, and now it was over again. He had been tired after his birthday party, and she hoped he was feeling better now.

She knew that today the doctors and Matt were starting with the last few weeks in the rehabilitation center to prepare him for going home. She was so excited she was finally going to get her husband soon with her again.

Walking into his room, she was surprised to see he was here. He was still in bed instead of at therapy and looked tired.

''Hey, what is wrong?'' She asked concerned as she kissed him on his forehead.

''I am really sorry, I am having a really bad day.'' He said as she sat down beside him on the bed, taking his hand.

''Matt, there is no reason to be sorry about that. What is it?'' She asked concerned.

''Strained myself in training yesterday, had spasms in my back. Think the birthday was a bit much too.'' He said softly and she caressed through his hair.

''Anything I can do for you?''

''No, not really…I just had some painkillers... I am sorry I am such a lousy husband today.'' He admitted and she got off the bed, pulling the chair close to the bed, sitting down in and holding his hand.

''Matt, you are not a lousy husband. Please don't say that.'' She said as she caressed through his hair.

''I wanted to get you something to thank you for the birthday party. Now I can't even get out of bed.'' He said upset. Holding his hands, she felt them shaking and she felt bad he was in such poor shape.

''I don't need anything for that. I just need you to be okay.'' She said as she kissed him on his forehead.

Soon he was asleep, and she kept sitting by his side, reading a book. Even though she had just gotten off shift, there was nothing else she wanted to do instead of spending time with him. As much as she wanted him to feel better, she had promised that she would be with him in good and in tough times when they had gotten married.

Leaning against the side of his bed from the chair, she dozed off for a bit as well. The shift had tired her out. If he had gone to therapy later, she would probably have had a nap or gone home for a nap, but now she wanted to be by his side.

Falling asleep, even though he had a bad, she was glad that she was close to him.

She woke up as Matt was trying to move, still in discomfort. Sitting up she wanted to help him, but he pushed her arm away.

''Matt, come on, I want to help.''

''It really hurts.'' He admitted and she got a nurse from the staff. Looking as they injected him with more painkillers, she felt bad. They knew that his body could have a really bad day, but it was hard to see now that it was the first time.

Slowly he seemed to calm down a little as she sat down by him again. Together they watched a movie, Gabby holding Matt's hand.

''You should go home and get some sleep.'' He mumbled as he knew she came from shift, not sure if she had slept at all on shift, and she had just

''It is fine, I can always take another nap here. I want to be here for you.'' She assured him and he looked grateful.

''I think I can try and sit up.'' Matt said and she put the bed up a bit, slowly as she did not want to hurt him. Sitting up, he was still uncomfortable, but he was glad to sit up, as it was at least a bit of progress for today.

She put another pillow in his back and moved the tray a bit closer so he could eat. She had taken some lunch for herself, and sat eating beside him. He was eating slowly, but for now she was just glad he was eating. She could imagine now that he was in so much pain, that he wasn't very hungry.

After lunch, he told her that he did want to go back to sleep and she did go home. Even though she wanted to stay with him, she also knew that she was distracting him from sleeping and he seemed like he wanted to be alone now.

Matt woke up in the afternoon again. He still felt like hell. The muscles in his neck were tensing up and even though he still had the painkillers in his system, it was still bad. Looking at the clock, he saw he had missed dinner, but he wasn't hungry anyway.

Looking beside the bed he saw his wheelchair. It felt bad that he could not even make it in there today, because it meant there was nothing he could do but lay in bed. He didn't feel sorry for himself, but he wanted to do more for Gabby as well.

There was a knock on the door and his best friend looked around the corner of the door.

''Can I come in?''

''Yeah, ofcourse.''

''Hey man, just wanted to drop by.'' Kelly said as he walked in slowly, not sure if Matt was up for a visit.

''Hey, glad to see you.'' Matt smiled just a little bit.

''Heard from Gabby today is not a good day.''

''No, overdid myself a bit in training and with my birthday, back and neck are acting up bad.'' Matt admitted. Kelly sat down on the chair by the bed Gabby had put there.

''Anything I can do for you?''

''You already did enough by being here.'' Matt assured his friend.

''You look like hell.'' Kelly shook his head.

''Thanks, well I don't think you would win a pageant either.'' Matt joked. ''Can you turn the TV off.''

Even though he could easily do it himself on good days, he felt so bad today his hands were shaking even worse than usually, and he figured it was easier asking his friend, instead of getting frustrated.

''Can I get you some water?''

''No, I am fine, really.'' Matt said as Kelly got up to get some for himself.

''Did Gabby tell you about our call?'' Kelly asked as he sat down again.

''No, tell me.'' Matt mumbled excited. He had been asleep mostly when Gabby was here, but he was always excited to hear about what happened at the calls.

''So we got a call about this big office buildings, you know the ones where the alarm goes off and the call comes straight in. We got there and there was smoke on the top floor. Didn't seem like a big fire, but we started evacuating. This woman just wouldn't leave her computer cause she wanted to hit her sales target. Cruz had to drag her away.''

Matt chuckled and Kelly was glad to see his friend laugh.

After a while, Kelly saw that it was all getting too much on his friend and left. Matt wasn't alone for long before Gabby came back. She felt bad seeing he still did not feel any better but hoped that he would feel better tomorrow. Today at home, she had thought about how close he was to going home after all this time. The call was almost half a year ago now and so much had changed, but now all she wanted was for their lives to become normal again, as much as it could.

''So even though today is not a good day, you know it is only a few more weeks until you can go home.'' Gabby tried to raise his spirits.

''Yeah, I am really excited.'' Matt smiled. Even though it was a few weeks, it wasn't as long anymore. He was also very nervous to go home. Even though had really worked hard, he was nervous that he would not be able to do everything he wanted at home. Although they also had changed their house for Matt coming home, but he was still a bit worried.

''I am really excited to come home.'' He said, ''I really miss being husband and wife, and this has been really hard on our marriage, so I think it will be really good.''

''Me too.'' She smiled and they shared a kiss.

''Gabby, I do want you to be honest, I know this has not been easy for the both of us, and a lot has changed. I don't want to make you unhappy in any way.'' He admitted.

''You absolutely don't. I know it is not easy, but I love you…and it is hard today, but it is going to be better tomorrow, I am sure.'' Gabby said and he looked glad.

''I asked one of the nurses to help with the spasms in my back…hope she will be here soon.''

''Hopefully you can sleep after.'' Gabby said compassionate. Sitting close, they kissed.

One of nurses of the staff came in to help him with his back and Gabby thought about leaving the room for a second. As much as she wanted to help, she was not sure what she could do, and she felt bad seeing him struggle.

''Maybe you should stay, so you know what to do when you get home and you need to do this.'' The nurse explained, and she nodded. Together they helped him turn around, so they could see his back. She saw the muscles in his back contracting and she looked a bit unsure. As much as she wanted to help him, she had no idea what to do. Seeing her husband in this much pain, it also made her realize there was a lot more related to his injury than the paralysis.

''I have the Botox here, when injected a bit into the muscles, they stop contracting.''

Gabby nodded understanding.

''You inject it right there in the muscles. I know you are an EMT, so I have all the trust you can do this.'' The nurse said as she showed Gabby.

''So do I.'' Matt said softly. He knew he was lucky that he had Gabby by his side, whom could help him with these things.

After injecting the Botox, the muscles stopped moving and after a few minutes, the nurse and Gabby moved Matt back on his back. Tired but feeling a bit better, he smiled at the both of them.

''That feels a lot better.''

''Let me know if you need anything else.'' The nurse said before leaving.

''How are you feeling about sleeping soon?'' Gabby asked as Matt seemed a bit sleepier now.

''A bit better after injecting that Botox.''

''How vain.'' She joked, but she was glad it helped him. She helped him take the painkillers and made sure he was comfortable.

''Hopefully it will knock me out soon.'' Matt admitted. She took the woolen blanket that they usually had on the couch and put it over him. Even though he could not feel himself if he was too hot or too cold, she felt his hands were cold.

''Can I lay next to you?'' Gabby asked as she wasn't sure if he could take it now.

''Yeah, careful please.'' He said a bit concerned and she nodded. Carefully she sat down on the edge of the bed and laid down beside him. She hated to see him like this. He seemed in a lot of discomfort and even holding him close, he was in so much pain that she could not really make it better now.

His breathing stabilized slowly, and she laid against him as he fell asleep.

It was hard to see him having a dreadful day, but she was also glad that she could be by his side, and she had tried to be the best wife she could be. She hoped there would not be many more bad days for him. But even though it was hard; she felt it also made their marriage stronger.

* * *

T **hank you so much for reading, I hope you did like this chapter, mostly for the relationship between Gabby and Matt. Please let me know what you thought! Thanks again and have a nice day!**


	13. The Zoo

Matt woke up, tired as it was still early, but excited as he was going out today with Gabby, his mom, sister and niece. They had managed to pick a day everybody was available and going to do the zoo today.

Sitting up, pushing himself up, he pulled his chair closer and managed to lift himself in, sighing for a bit. It was still early, but he needed all this time to get ready.

It took a lot longer than before, but he was able to do it himself so that he could go home next week. Getting dressed, he was glad he had got up so early as it took so long. But months ago he had not been able to get dressed himself, and even though it took longer now, he was glad he could do it himself now.

As he was struggling with his shoes, Gabby came in.

''Hey, need a hand?''

''Probably, which is really annoying cause I don't even walk on these shoes.'' Matt rolled his eyes. She kissed him and sat down on the bed across from him, helping him get his shoes on.

''Anything else you need or are you good to go?''

''Yeah, I am all good to go.'' Matt smiled. Next week he was finally going home and he was very excited for it. But today would be a fun day too.

''Your mom should be here any minute. Do you think I got everything?'' Gabby said a bit worried as she was rummaging through the backpack.

''I think so. We will be fine.'' He assured her. She zipped up his jacket and they made their way towards the exit of the center.

Nancy was coming to pick them up as Christie and Violet were going separately. They would meet at the entrance of the zoo.

His mom's car pulled up in front of them, Nancy getting out.

''Hey! So glad to see you again!''

''Glad to see you mom.'' Matt hugged his mom. With some help from Gabby, he got in the car and they started driving to the zoo.

''I am really glad we can finally be together like a family again.'' Matt admitted. Even though he knew some issues would never be resolved, he was just glad that his family had come together this far. Even though there was not a lot of positive things about his accident, this was the sole positive thing, that I had brought his mom and sister together.

At the zoo, they made their way to the entry where Christie and Violet were waiting.

''Hey!'' Violet said excited to see them.

''hey Violet, glad to see you again!'' Gabby said excited.

''Hey Gabby and Matt!'' Violet said excited and Gabby looked as she turned away as Christie was talking to Matt.

Violet was looking at her phone and Christie took it then, putting it in her bed. Pouting for a second she met Gabby's eyes with hers, looking away then.

They made their way into the zoo and went around for a few hours. When they were at the polar bears, there were stairs up for a better view.

''You should go up there to have a look.'' Matt told Violet.

''But you can't come.''

''Don't worry, I am fine.'' Matt said and his sister sat down beside him, Nancy and Gabby walking with Violet.

''Has mom been over to your house?'' Matt asked Christie as they were alone now.

''Yeah, we talked some things out, I mean, some things are so long ago we should leave it behind, I guess.'' Christie admitted and Matt nodded.

''Looking at what you and Gabby are going through, I also realized that some things just aren't worth the negativity over.''

''I am really glad you make up with her.'' Matt smiled. ''Violet and her seem to really like each other and spending time with each other.''

''It is nice she finally has a grandmother, especially with how Jim's family has been.''

''It is nice to finally have the family together.'' Matt agreed.

''Do you already know what you are going to do when you get home?'' Christie asked.

''Not really, I have a lot more rehabilitation to do so I have some more time to look at those prospects. I want to stay in the CFD but with my hands still not working well, I have no idea what would be suitable.''

''You have time enough, getting better really should be the most important.''

The others joined them again and they went around a while longer. Matt's hands and arms started to get sore and he looked at Gabby.

''My arms are really tired, I think we might just get a coffee over there. You should keep going.'' Matt said as he stopped.

''We can come with you.'' His mom offered.

''I am fine, you just go and enjoy.'' Matt assured her and Nancy made her way to the other animals with her daughter and granddaughter.

''You okay?''

''Ofcourse, Gabby, please don't feel like you need to walk on egg shells around me.'' He assured her with a smile.

''I just wanted to check.'' She kissed his temple and pushed the wheelchair towards the restaurant nearby. They got to a table and Matt waited by the table to keep it free for his family as Gabby was getting coffee.

''Sorry, my arms and hands are just a bit tired.'' Matt said as she sat down with him again.

''That is fine, I am sure they understand.'' Gabby caressed over his shoulder.

They sat together, chatting about his homecoming in a week. Sitting close to him, she loved being here with him. With what had happened 7 months ago, both had been scared for the future. Even though everything had changed, they still had each other, and they had grown stronger over this.

''Nancy and Christie seem to be fine again together.''

''Violet told me they bonded over what happened to me, so I think that brought them closer.''

''That is nice, I know you always wanted them to get along.'' Gabby said.

''Yeah, a building falling on me at least brought something positive.'' He said with a wry smile, but he was really happy about it, although he wished things could have been different.

Violet, Nancy and Christie soon came walking their way and joined the table.

''How was it?'' Matt asked, not minding at all.

''It was cool, we got to see them really well.'' Violet smiled. Gabby handed her a cup of hot chocolate and sat down as well.

''Are you excited to go home next week?'' Christie asked.

''Definitely, it is about time.'' Matt answered and Gabby was holding his hand, pinching it. After all these months he was just so glad to go home, finally. She was so glad to have him home as well, it had been heard to miss him all these months. Even though she knew that he still had a long way to go, they were glad they could at least do it from their home together.

The last few months, everybody had helped them to change the apartment so much that Matt could manage himself around the house as well.

''Please just call us if you need anything.'' Christie said and Matt nodded, thankful, even though he knew he could manage himself and he had Gabby by his side, he was grateful how his family wanted to help him.

''You still get tired all the time this quick?'' Christie asked concerned after he had just had to stop coming with them.

''It is a strain on my arms and hands yeah, because not all the muscles work well.'' Matt explained.

''Are you hungry, I am.'' Nancy admitted, wanting to change the subject.

''I could go for something.'' Christie said as they looked at the menus.

Looking over the table, Gabby noticed Violet trying to sneak her phone from her mom's bag. She managed to get it in her pocket and Gabby couldn't help but smile a little.

''Hey, let's get some lunch together.'' Gabby winked at Violet, and she and Violet got in line.

''You are having a good time too?''

''Yeah.'' Violet smiled, sneaking a look on her phone then.

''Ooh, waiting for the text of a boy?'' Gabby joked but Violet's face turned into a bright red.

''Please don't tell my mom.''

''Don't worry, I won't!'' Gabby laughed, ''So…who is mystery boy?''

''He is in my class. He is really nice.'' Violet blushed even more.

''You should tell your mom, I am sure she would be happy for you.''

''She has had a lot on her mind with what happened to uncle Matt…and now grandma Nancy is back in the family…and I don't want to give her even more to worry about.'' Violet admitted, putting her phone away.

''You are a very smart young woman, but please know your mom cares…and I do to, if there is anything I can help you with, or you want to talk about, just let me know.''

''Thank you.'' Violet smiled.

''You are excited for Matt coming home next week.''

''Definitely! It has been so long.'' Gabby smiled. Just thinking about him coming home made her feel so good. It had been almost 7 months now.

It was almost their turn.

''Can you please not tell uncle Matt about the boy either? I am sure he would lose it.'' Violet said then, very serious. Gabby couldn't help but laugh.

''Don't worry, I won't tell him. Yeah, I think he would want to give mystery boy a talking.''

Violet started to laugh now as well.

They ordered the lunches and made their way back to the table. Christie was talking about a case on her job and Gabby was so glad to see Nancy and Christie getting along again. Although she knew there was a lot more that needed to happen before the two women had set all their differences aside, she was happy for now as she knew it also meant a lot to Matt.

''Oh, what did you get me?'' Matt smiled at Violet a she put the tray down in front of him.

''Gabby picked out a sandwich.'' She said and Gabby jokingly told her not to blame her.

Matt laughed as well. They all chatted over lunch and all oft hem were just happy that the family was back together again.

At the end of the afternoon, they went back to the car, saying their goodbyes after a godo day in the zoo. Gabby helped Matt get in the car, glad it had bene a day like old times, but as they were near the waterfront, she suddenly got another idea.

''Hey, can you drop us off somewhere else?'' Gabby asked then and Nancy nodded.

''What are you planning?''

''Just, was thinking about something.'' Gabby smiled. ''Can you drop us off at the pier?''

''Sounds good.'' Nancy said and she dropped them off by the Riverwalk.

''What were you thinking about?''

''That I want to have a Friday night at one of the restaurants here at the pier, like we used to do often.''

''Sounds good to me.'' Matt smiled and they made their way over the pier. They came by their favorite Italian restaurant and they picked it as the restaurant to eat for the night.

They went inside the restaurant and got a table by the window. It was a table they had sat very often, but Matt felt so good being back here, so much had changed and even though he knew some stuff would stay different, he was glad Gabby had resurrected this habit for now.

''Going to get the carbonara?'' Gabby smiled as he usually went for that one.

''No, would a bit hard to eat…think I am going to get a pizza, bit easier.'' He explained.

''That makes sense.'' Gabby said, looking down.

After ordering they looked out over the pier. She was caressing his hand on the table.

''Thanks so much for today.''

''It was not just me, I had a great day too, and it is not even done.'' She smiled.

Their food got served and Matt was struggling to eat it, but enjoyed being back in his favorite restaurant.

Still clumsy, Matt was eating. She smiled, glad to see him having a good time, even though he was still struggling, he had improved a lot, and he was just glad to be here with his wife. It made a good day an even better day and after dinner they made their way by the waterfront, looking at the water and the sunset. Gabby laid her hands on his shoulders then and kissed him on his head.

''Had a good day today?''

''I really did, I hope you did too.''

''I did. It's so good you are finally going to be home soon.'' He said.

''You can't imagine how good it feels.'' He smiled. Kissing him on his head, they made their way to the taxi stand then to get a taxi back to the center.

''Pff, I am exhausted.'' Gabby fell down onto one of the chairs.

Matt laughed a bit, Gabby clearly wiped by the busy day.

''I had a great day, thanks so much.'' She smiled then and he made his way towards her, kissing his wife.

''I had a fantastic day, and I can not wait to go home.'' He smiled and they kissed again, only seven more days keeping them apart.

* * *

 **Sorry there has not been an update for a while, I have been very busy. The next chapter is already in the works so that shouldn't be too long. Please let me know what you thought about this chapter and what you hope to see in the future! Thanks for reading!**


	14. Home

Gabby opened the doors for him as he made his way inside. This morning she had picked him up at the center, together with all his stuff s he was finally home now **.**

''Just in time for Christmas.'' He smiled, so glad to be home. Even though he knew his recovery was not done, he was so glad to finally be home.

She carried his bag to the laundry room to wash them and leaned in the doorway as he was making his way through the house. `Looking as he did so, it hit her again how much had changed an dhow much time had passed. But with everything that had been going on, the accident seemed even longer ago then it even was.

Matt was looking at a bunch of flowers on the table, moving closer.

''Your mom send flowers over.'' She pointed at them at the table and Matt smiled.

''That is great.'' He looked at the flowers. It was still weird that he was going to be here now from now on again. It was his house again, after he had been gone for 7 months.

Some small renovations had still been done after the initial work they had done with the firehouse, and he looked around. It was so much work all of them had put into this apartment, and it made him feel grateful he had such great friends.

''Everything alright?'' Gabby walked up behind him as he was looking at their patio from the bedroom.

''Yeah, just really glad to be here.'' He said, his eyes tearing up but in a good way, because he was grateful and happy to be home. She laid her arms around him and kissed him on his cheek.

''I am really glad you are here again too.''

With a drink, they settled in the living room. Even though it was sunny today, it was December and way too cold to sit outside.

''Kelly is coming by later, other offered as well but honestly, I just want to enjoy the day at home.'' Matt explained and Gabby nodded, understanding what he meant.

The doorbell rang and Matt made his way to the door, opening the door for his friend.

''hey, welcome home!'' Kelly said excited to see Matt home.

''Come in man, thanks for coming.'' Matt said and they made their way to the kitchen table. It was a bit easier for him to sit up at the table since he could lean on it, which was less of a burden on his abs.

''So how does it feel to be home.'' Kelly smiled after grabbing a beer, giving Matt one as well.

''It is great.'' Matt smiled. Gabby smiled at him too, grateful to have him home.

''Need anything about the house still adjusted? I am glad to help.''

''Thanks, no it is fine.'' Matt shook his head. He really appreciated how his friend was trying to help him.

They chatted a bit more and Kelly left a little later.

He let Kelly out and made his way back inside. Some of the furniture had been moved around which made it a lot easier for him to get around. Gabby was standing in the kitchen.

''You still want to eat pancakes?'' She asked a bit concerned.

''What is wrong?'' He asked as he made his way towards her.

''We are out of milk and eggs. I need some for pancakes.'' She sighed, wanting to grab the keys to go out and get some at the corner shop only two blocks again.

''I will go and get some.'' He said.

''No Matt, it is fine, I can go myself.''

''Gabby, I really want to do this. It will make me feel good that I can do these simple things again, on my own.'' He explained, and she nodded.

''Okay.'' She smiled and kissed him. He made his way out of the house through the back and towards the shop. It was not that far, but he really wanted to do this. It made him feel like his life would finally be back to as normal as it could be now. He knew Gabby wanted to go at first, but he wanted to show he could do thing independent again.

It was not really far, but he struggled a bit making his way over the bumpy sidewalks to the shop with his wheelchair.

At the shop, he got the groceries they needed and made his way to the counter to pay.

''hey, it is nice to see you again!'' The clerk said, recognizing Matt immediately.

''It is good to be here again.'' Matt smiled.

''I thought you and your wife had moved…I am sorry to ask but what happened?'' He asked curious.

''Accident on the job. Just glad to finally be back home'' Matt said as he took the chance.

''I can understand. I am sorry that happened. Just glad to see you around again.''

The shopkeeper put the groceries in a bag and handed it to him. Matt put it on his lap, making his way to the door. Out of the shop, he made his way back home. It was almost weird being back in his old neighborhood after months of rehabilitation.

He made his way back to their backyard, opening the gate. Gabby opened the patio door for him and he held out the bag for her.

''Got everything.''

''I didn't doubt you would.'' She said, but knew he felt good doing these things on his own. She started prepping dinner as he was setting the table. After he had been here when the firehouse had adjusted their house, they moved a lot of stuff Matt would need to get too. Now he was able to do all of this on his own and it made him feel good. Making pancakes, Matt was at the table, his arms on the table and is head on his hands, looking at his wife.

''What are you looking at?'' Gabby joked as she was flipping the pancakes.

''My wife.'' He smiled. ''My very beautiful wife.''

She got the pancakes ready and put the plate down in front of him, handing him cutlery as well and sitting down herself.

''This is great, thanks.'' Matt started to eat.

''I am so glad you are home.''

''I am too, and I am so grateful about how you have been the last few weeks, everything was all ready and I am so grateful how helpful you have been.'' He said.

''Well you are my husband.'' She smiled. It had not always been easy, but she was glad she could be here for her husband.

''I was planning on going back to work next week, is that alright with you?'' Gabby asked.

''Ofcourse.'' Matt smiled, glad she was getting back to her own life again. She had done so much for him and the last thing he wanted was for her to stop living her life because of him. Even though he knew it would take some time adjusting to everything, he wanted her to go back to work if she wanted to.

''Are you sure you will be okay here alone?'' She asked a bit concerned.

''Yeah, I did not spend that much time in rehabilitation to not be able to manage on my own now.'' Matt assured her.

''You are right. I just want you to feel okay and do the right thing.''

''I know, and I appreciate it.''

They moved into the kitchen to do the dishes. With the new sink, Matt was doing the dishes, as he was worried to drop the dishes if we were drying them.

Leaning into the sink, he washed it off and handed it to Gabby to dry it off.

''Guy in the shop recognized me, he thought we moved.'' Matt mumbled then, thinking about it.

''Well, it has been a while.''

''I know.'' Matt mumbled. They finished up the dishes and Matt went to take his medication and did some exercises why Gabby settled at the kitchen table with her laptop, figuring out some things for their trip a few weeks. They were going to a big mountain lodge as she had given him for his birthday. It was still a bit odd now that he was home after all these months and she was worried that everything was a bit overwhelming, as he had been very quiet today.

Hopefully the holidays and the trip to the lodge would reconnect them a bit more.

Matt came back to the living room and she closed the laptop.

''Was looking at some things for our trip.'' She smiled.

''I am looking forward to it.'' Matt smiled and he kissed her on her cheek.

''Let's get settled on the couch.'' He offered and he moved over to the couch, Gabby sitting down beside him. He laid against her as they watched the news and her hands caressed over his neck and shoulders.

Watching TV together, laying close, Gabby could not help but think about how much had changed over the last few months, but she hoped thinks would be like they were before now that he was home. She knew he would get another job, and some things would never go back to the way things were before, but at least they were home together again.

''Want a drink?'' Matt asked then, sitting up.

''I can go and get it.'' Gabby offered so he did not have to get up, but he shook his head.

''No it is fine, I can get it.''

He moved from the couch back to his chair and made his way to the kitchen. Gabby looked backwards, looking as he was grabbing the wine from the fridge. His hands were shaking as he poured it into her glass, but making it back to her he looked glad to do it. After grabbing himself another drink he moved back to the couch.

''Thanks.''

He held her close as they started a movie and he laid back, Gabby laying against him. He had his arms around her and his hands around hers. She was so glad to feel his hands around hers. When the accident had just happened, he had not been able to move his hands at all, and it had improved so much.

After watching the movie, Matt sat up, yawning.

''I am going to shower and go the bed.'' Matt sighed and she held his arm as he moved back to his chair.

''Gabby, I can do it.''

''I know, just thought because you are tired.'' She said as she let go of his arm.

''Thanks, but I am fine.'' He assured her, still looking at her with a smile. He knew she meant it well, but really wanted to do it himself.

Matt going into the shower, Gabby was getting ready for bed as well. As it took Matt a while now, she was folding the laundry from this morning.

Coming out of the bathroom, he lifted himself onto the bed, struggling a bit.

''If the bed is still to high we can look at getting a lower one.'' She said as she

''I am fine.'' He assured her. Getting onto the bed, pulling his legs up. It was the first time he was back in his own bed since the accident had happened, and he was so glad to be next to Gabby again.

''Can you get me an extra pillow?'' He asked and she nodded, grabbing one from the cabinet. She stuffed under his neck and made sure he was comfortable, sitting down on the bed beside him.

''It is so great to finally have you home.'' She smiled as she kissed him.

''It is good to be here, sorry, I am just really tired.'' Matt admitted. Even though he was really glad to be home, everything took a lot more effort now. Even though he was happy to be here still, it did make him a bit sad as so much had changed.

Gabby was laying beside him now, and he knew that he should be grateful he had her, and she had been by his side all this time.

Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her closer and she laid against his chest. Laying close, they fell asleep.


	15. Frustration

''You are coming to firehouse for dinner, right?''

''Yeah, don't worry, I will be there.'' He assured her and she kissed him on his forehead. Packing up her stuff, she kissed him one more and walked to the car. Closing the door, Matt sat back with a sigh.

Gabby had been so worried about him the last few days he was glad it was finally the day today so he could just show her that he was fine. He knew she meant it well and she didn't underestimate him, but because she cared about him and loved him.

Getting into the shower, he hoped she had a good day at work. The last thing he wanted was to stop her doing what she liked.

In the shower, everything took a lot longer. He was worried to fall over and since Gabby wouldn't be home till tomorrow morning, the last thing he wanted was to fall over. Looking down at his hands and legs, he felt bad. Months ago he had been workign as a firefighter, and now he could barely feel the water hitting his legs.

He got out of the shower and made his way to the kitchen after getting dressed. Wanting to make breakfast, he looking for something but saw there was a sandwich on the table and he rolled his eyes.

''Oh Gabby.'' He sighed. He knew she meant it well but he felt that she was really scared to leave him alone, while he had been working really hard so he could do things on his own again, but she was so worried about him. It was sweet, and she was his wife, but he wanted to get used to doing things himself again. He knew there were a lot of things he could do, especially because of his hands. She did want to make him comfortable, but it only made him frustrated.

Grabbing the laptop from the table and putting it on his lap, he started checking his emails. His hands were shaking and he didn't have a lot of power in his fingers. It took a lot longer than before and it annoyed him. Especially around Gabby he could barely do it, since she usually insisted on helping him.

Leaving to go to physical therapy, he hoped that he could soon drive again as well. It was all small steps, but he wanted to do good for himself, as well as for Gabby.

After physical therapy, he made his way to the firehouse. He was frustrated after the long session and he just wanted to go home, but Gabby wanted him to be here for dinner. Even though he had worked really hard in the center on regaining use of his hands, it was in no way good enough to make a full dinner.

Coming in, the squad table greeted him. Kelly got u and walked his way, shaking his hand.

''How are you feeling?'' Kelly asked.

''Fine.'' Matt mumbled. Kelly was silent and Matt knew that he knew Matt just said it to be done with the answer.

''Can I drop off my stuff in your office?'' Matt asked and Kelly nodded, walked along with him.

''How was your day alone at home.''

''I am fine.'' He assured Kelly. ''It would be a lot easier if people would stop worrying about me all the time.''

''Sorry, I don't think any of us mean it in a bad way.''

''I know, sorry. I am just frustrated.'' Matt admitted.

''I get that, don't worry. Gabby has been nervous all day. She is not doubting you, she just wants you to feel okay.''

''I know, you are right.'' Matt sighed, ''I am just really frustrated.''

''Again, I get it, really.'' Kelly said and Matt felt a bit better talking about this with his friend.

They made their way to the common room where they were finishing up dinner.

''Hey, good to see you.'' Gabby smiled as she saw him, kissing him.

''Nice to be here.'' Matt lied as they hugged.

''Nice you are joining us for dinner.'' Hermann smiled.

''Gabby didn't trust me in the kitchen. Honestly I shouldn't be.'' Matt mumbled. Joining the table, Kelly stacked his plate up for him and put it in front of him.

''Good luck, Cruz made it.''

''Funny!'' Cruz shook his head but had a laugh about it himself then as well. After dinner, even though it was nice to be here, he really just wanted to go home.

''Alright, I am heading home.'' Matt said and Gabby walked to the exit with him as she was calling a taxi for him.

''Everything fine at home?''

''Yeah, I mean, I worked hard in the center to manage myself and go home, so I am fine.'' He said a bit angry.

''I was just a bit concerned. But I know you can do it.''

They looked away from each other and shared a kiss at the taxi arrived.

''I will be fine, really.'' Matt said frustrated and he got into the taxi. At home he was glad to be home honestly. Even though it was just a short dinner at the firehouse, the whole day had tired him out with the therapy session as well. But he wanted to get breakfast for him and Gabby as well. Making his way to the shop, he got the bread she really liked, as well as some juice and stuff for the bread.

''You want some oranges? Got lots fresh in today, getting more tomorrow.'' The shopkeeper said as he held up a bag.

''Sure, how much are they?''

''No, you can take them.''

''Thanks!'' Matt smiled, getting his money together for the rest of the groceries.

''I remember reading something about a firefighter getting stuck in a collapsed building. I have been wondering…I hope it is okay I ask that.''

''Yeah, that was me.'' Matt admitted.

''Sorry.''

''Why is everybody so sorry for me? I can't really change it.'' Matt said a bit angry, feeling bad immediately.

''Sorry about that.''

''I shouldn't have asked.''

''No it is fine, anyway, thanks again. See you next time.''

''Have a nice evening.''

''Thanks.'' Matt said and he made his way back home.

He got showered and settled in bed, turning the TV on. It had been nice to be at the firehouse, but it also confronted him with the fact that there was not a lot he could do anymore of the things he used to do when he spend an evening at home. Before he would go on a run, or work on some contracting job, but now he had to look for other things to do. It wasn't something he had thought about in the hospital and the center, just focusing on going home, but now he knew he had to find something else to do. He knew that when he was done with all his therapy, he wanted to start working as soon as possible again, but he had no idea what.

He knew that he had to finish up his rehabilitation first, but he really wanted to. Being home alone while Gabby was on shift was really boring, even after one day.

His back was hurting and it was a bit annoying. The whole day he had been upset, and he felt frustrated. He had been practicing so hard and even now, he was still frustrated about it, even though he could do most of the things he needed to do.

Getting ready, he fell asleep, annoyed with the night, hoping he and Gabby would be better tomorrow.

Gabby walked into the house the next morning, silent. She didn't want to wake Matt up, but when she walked in he was already in the kitchen. There was some bread on the table, as well as toppings and he was waiting by the coffee machine for it to be done.

''Hey, glad you are home.'' Matt smiled and they shared a kiss.

''Good to be home again, it was a long shift.''

''Starving For breakfast?''

''You bet.'' Gabby nodded, hungry after the shift.

''Got some bread from the store and that cheese you really like.''

''You are too good for me.'' Gabby kissed him.

''I know it is not great, but I tried.'' Matt admitted

''Are you kidding me, it is great.''

''How was work?'' He asked as he put the coffee on the table so that Gabby could pour it in their cups, as he was worried to spill it.

''It was good, how did you manage?''

''Oh fine, just had a slow morning, got ready, took the bus to therapy and hung around the house a bit after going home from the firehouse.'' He admitted. He looked a bit down and Gabby laid her hand on his.

''What is wrong?''

''I just wish I had a hobby I could still do. I can't do contracting, I can't do sports and I can't play games with my hands. I just want to find something to kill time again.'' Matt admitted. ''I was really frustrated yesterday.''

''I understand.'' Gabby said, she could imagine that it was hard on him.

''I was just sitting around watching TV. I got really bored.'' Matt admitted.

''I get that, you always had so much going on so I can imagine it is weird, but you will find something, I know.''

''I know.''

''Oh, the shopkeeper added in some oranges as well, just came in fresh.'' Matt pointed at them on the cupboard. ''I didn't bother making juice from them cause you probably didn't want to clean the kitchen after a long shift.''

''I can make some if you like.''

''I would like some.'' Matt admitted.

Gabby started cutting the oranges them as Matt looking at her from the table.

''Gabby?''

''Yeah?''

''I am sorry I was so frustrated yesterday. I am really grateful for how you have been and I am really grateful to have you as my wife.''

She smiled at him and walked his way, kissing him.

''Thank you…and I get the frustration, but you know it is going to be okay, right?''

''I know.''

Holding her close, he hoped that he would finally accept it all soon himself as well.


	16. The Getaway

**Chapter 16**

 **Even though I am really sad about the direction he show decided to take, and really sad Monica is not returning as Dawson, I am not ready to let go of my fiction, so I will continue writing this story and Dawsey. I hope you still want to read it, And thank you for still coming back to this story. I hope you will enjoy this chapter.**

''All packed.'' He said as he put the last bag in the car.

''Yeah, I am so ready for just getting away.'' Gabby sighed as she closed the trunk. The last few weeks had been busy. Gabby had been doing a lot of shifts between the holidays, and the celebrations with the house, his family and her family had been really busy was well.

They really wanted some peace now and this weekend away to a lodge outside of the city was really welcome.

Matt got into the car as well, Gabby folding the wheelchair and putting it on the backseat and getting in as well.

''Ready for the drive.''

''Yeah – can you just help me with my seatbelt?'' He asked, struggling to get it closed. Pushing was hard with his hand as he still had limited power in his hands, but she did it for him then,

''Let's go, you are the DJ.'' Gabby smiled as she started driving.

They made their way out of the city and towards the resort. It was far drive, but they knew it would be worth it.

Gabby had already found this before his birthday. It was a resort with a large lodge with smaller cabins around it. It was a near a ski resort and she had another surprise for him once they would be there.

It was a long drive, but they chatted along the way and stopped for lunch. Even after being together for these years, they never ran out of things to talk about, and it made him so glad he married her. She was smiling at him as well. When she had been booking this trip, he had been so down, and she had been scared what would happen to them, but things had gotten so much better.

It was already early evening when they arrived at the resort. It had been a long drive and Matt felt bad about not being able to take over from her. He was glad when they arrived as his back got sore, but also because he saw Gabby was getting tired.

They arrived at the lodge and got to the reception. It was a large wooden lodge and he liked that Gabby had sought this out for them. She was checking in as he was looking around.

It looked amazing and he felt special she booked this for his birthday. It was nice to share quality time together, especially all the time he spend away from her in the hospital and in the rehabilitation center.

They got the key to their cabin and made their way there. It wasn't too far from the lodge but far enough from the other cabins that they had a lot of privacy. She opened the door for him and he moved inside. It was warm inside as the fireplace was already lit.

''This is so nice.'' He smiled and she kissed him on his cheek, her arm around him.

''You want to go eat in the restaurant or here?''

''I prefer eating here.'' Matt admitted. Even though eating was going a bit better with his hands, it was still messy, and took him a long time. Gabby was really patient, so he preferred just eating alone with her, while he did not have to be concerned about people looking at him. It made him feel a lot less frustrated.

''Sounds good, we can just order it for here.'' Gabby smiled and he nodded. She handed the menu to him and they checked it out.

''I might get the surf and turf.''

''I think I will get that too.'' Matt smiled and he put the menu aside.

''I will go call the restaurant and order it.'' Gabby walked to the bedroom where the phone was. Sitting back, enjoying the warmth of the cabin and feeling so grateful Gabby had arranged this for his birthday.

Gabby came walking back and smiled.

''Got it all ordered.''

''Thanks. I really love it here, thank you.'' He smiled.

''It nice to get away from the city for a bit, and the hospital and your recovery, and my shifts.''

She sat down in one of the comfy big chairs as he turned his chair towards her as well.

''Want to open the prosecco over dinner?'' He offered and she nodded.

''I would love that.'' She smiled.

Soon their dinner was brought to the cabin and they set it up by the table.

''This looks so great, this is my best birthday gift ever.'' Matt sighed with a smile.

''Well, I have another surprise.'' Gabby admitted.

''Gabby.'' He sighed with a smile. He was really grateful about all the stuff she did for them, but sometimes it made him a bit worried that he could never return that.

''I arranged for you to get a class in sit skiing. I don't know if you like it but I figured that because you felt-''

''Gabby, you don't need to explain yourself, I love it!'' Matt smiled and he kissed her.

''You have a lesson tomorrow at 10 with a private teacher. I brought some gear for you as well.''

''You are the absolute best, I am not sure what I did to deserve you.'' He kissed her another time, so happy. She was so thoughtful, and he could not believe that he was lucky enough to have this woman in his life.

After dinner, they moved to the couch by the fire. He had his arms wrapped around her and she was caressing his hands. The first time she had held his hand in the hospital, he had not felt it all. Now he could, and it made him feel great that he could feel it now and could hold her hands too.

''how are you feeling?'' He asked after a bit, a bit tired from the long day and full from dinner.

''Bit tired from the drive, but we have a few more days ahead.'' She yawned.

''Yeah, let's go to bed.'' He nodded. As she was getting ready for bed, he was as well and she was just texting her family that they arrived at the resort as he moved onto the bed as well.

''how are you feeling about the skiing tomorrow?''

''I am a bit nervous.'' He admitted. Moving onto the bed, she pulled the blanket over him as he laid down.

''It is going to be fine.''

''I know. I am excited as well that I get to get active again. Me and the physical therapist have been talking about sporting again, I was just not sure yet.''

She nodded understanding. Even though his neck and back were getting better, he still got sore really easily, and that was the last thing she wanted. But she hoped that he would enjoy it, because he really enjoyed being active like he had been before.

Crawling against each other, they were so glad to be here together. Even though it was only for a few days, they were excited to be here together.

* * *

The next morning, they made their way to the mountain. Even though it was not to far, it was a bit hard as even though the grounds in the resort were kept snow free, it was not towards the mountain and the last thing Gabby wanted was for him to get frustrated in his chair on the way here.

''I am so excited.'' He smiled as they made their way.

At the mountainside, she helped him out of the car, holding the chair as well as the ground was a bit slippery from the snow.

The teacher was already waiting up ahead and Gabby and Matt greeted him.

''Ready to get on the mountain?''

''Yeah, very excited!'' Matt smiled and Gabby let them be, sitting down a in a restaurant nearby with a coffee. She was so glad that he was excited to do this. She felt so bad hearing he felt there was no hobby he could do anymore, and even though she knew this was more of a onetime thing, she hoped he regained some trust and he would find something lasting soon.

Waiting on the bottom of the slope for him to come down when her coffee was finished, she was so proud of him. Looking as he did another run with the teacher, it made her smile even more.

After the class, they made their way back to the cabin. Even though it had been a great morning, Matt felt really tired as he was not used to doing these things from his body anymore.

Back in the cabin, he laid down on the bed to rest his back, Gabby sitting on the edge of the bed beside him.

''Your back okay?''

''Yeah it is fine, I am just really tired.''He admitted and Gabby nodded.

''I can totally understand.'' She said but she was glad to see that he was smiling. Even though he tired, it had been a great morning.

''it was so good, thank you so much Gabby. You have no clue how much this means to me and I love you so much.'' He said as he took her hand and pulled her a bit closer. Gabby smiled, climbing onto the bed as well.

''I would do anything for that smile.'' She smiled and they kissed.

''You do so much for me, and I love you so much. You are the best wife, and I am so grateful to have you.'' He pulled her against her. Not everything had been easy since the accident, but she had pulled him through everything. He couldn't be more grateful for her and hoped they would have so many more happy memories like these.


	17. The fishing trip

Kelly could be here to pick him up any minute. They were going fishing somewhere and staying a motel nearby so they could get some more fishing in before returning home the next day. Even though Kelly's dad's cabin was not too far from the lake they were going fishing, the cabin was in no way wheelchair friendly so to avoid the hassle, they opted for a motel.

''Hope I packed everything.'' Matt sighed as he pointed at the bag on his lap. Before he could just walk out of the door, but now he had to think about everything he needed to get around when he left the door.

''Don't worry, it will be fine.'' Kelly assured him. ''We can always drive back to get something.''

''Thanks.''

They made their way to the car and Severide opened the door for him.

''I forgot how low your car is.'' Matt laughed a bit nervous.

''Hey, gravity will be here to help you. Let me know if I can help you.''

Matt grabbed the transfer board, but with the car seat being so much lower, he knew it was not going to help him.

A bit nervous, he grabbed the top of the car and the door, pulling himself in with the little power he had in his arms. Making it to the chair, it cause the car door to close as well and the window hit him against the head

''Oww, shit.'' He rubbed over his head, Kelly kneeling down.

''You okay?''

''It is fine, you don't want to know how many times they happened already.'' Matt said then as Kelly started folding the wheelchair. Already a bit tired, Matt pulled his legs into the car and Kelly sat down on the drivers side.

''You really okay?''

''Yeah. Get used to it. I am really clumsy nowadays.'' Matt said with a wry smile.

They drove away, towards the cabin.

'''Feels like everybody needs to take time off to entertain me.'' Matt said as it was bothering him. Now that he did not have to do much but focus on his recovery, he felt he got bored a lot. People seemed to go out of their way to meet up with him.

''Gladly do it, and it is not because I feel I need to, but because you are my friend I want to spend time with you.'' Kelly said.

''Thanks.'' Matt smiled appreciative.

They chatted in the car about sports and the firehouse. Matt was glad to hear some more of what was going on in the firehouse as Gabby did not want to talk about it much because she was worried to upset him.

They arrived at the lake and Kelly helped him out of the car this time, Matt not wanting for anymore accidents to happen.

Looking at the sand and mud around, he felt a bit unsure.

''You might as well lift me to the boat because there is no way I will be able to push over this.'' Matt said.

''Want me to lift you to boat?'' Kelly wanted to make sure his friend wouldn't be upset about it.

''I guess.''

Carefully lifted his friend up and carried him to the boat.

''Please don't let me fall.'' Matt said a bit nervous ad Kelly stepped over the gap between the pontoon and the boat.

''Got you.'' Kelly said as he carefully lifted Matt into the boat, making sure he was sitting comfortably. It was a small boat but there was small bench to the back of the boat.

After Kelly carried the stuff onto the boat as well, they made their way onto the water.

Ou ton the water, they threw the fishing lines out and Kelly grabbed them some drinks from the cooler.

''We should do this more often.''

''Definitely.'' Matt smiled. It was nice to be away from the city, just like had been with Gabby. It was nice to finally be out of the house where he got constantly frustrated and where he had to do therapy all the time.

''Hey, my body temperature is getting really low, can you grab my jacket?'' Matt asked Kelly a bit concerned. Ever since his accident, he had to keep an eye on it. Since he couldn't feel anything below his chest, he couldn't regulate it himself anymore well.

''Ofcourse.''

''Thanks, something I never thought about having to keep monitoring.'' Matt said as Kelly helped him get the jacket on.

''Something I would never think off.''

''Something I have to now.'' Matt said as Kelly zipped his jacket up.

Sitting down across from his friend again, Kelly was still shocked how much had changed for his friend.

''Want another drink?''

''I will have another beer.'' Matt nodded and Kelly wanted to open the can for him,

''No, please let me do this.'' Matt said and Kelly handed over the can to him. Struggling, Matt tried to hold onto the can and open it. Not sure what to do, Kelly looked. Matt got his thumb under the tab and pushed it over, the can slipping from his hands onto the ground.

''Shit, sorry!'' Matt sighed.

''That is fine, you had it.'' Kelly said, cleaning it up handing him a new, opened one.

''Thanks. It is so frustrating sometimes. I hate that I can't walk but the worst is when I can't do these simple things because of my hands.'' He said as he looked down at his hands, firmly holding the can as well as he could.

''I can understand. It is not fair.''

''Don't get me wrong, I am really happy with the progress I made, but it is upsetting when I can't do these easy things.''

''totally understand.''

''Well, cheers to my progress.'' Matt said, not raising the can because he did not want to drop another drink.

After a while, they called it a day and made their way to the motel nearly.

''Thanks.'' Matt said as Kelly held the door open for him and he pushed his chair into the room. It was small, but it was better than being at the cabin tonight. Even though he wished he could stay there with his friend like they had done before. But with his impacted mobility and the problems he had with his body temperature, he knew this was the only option.

Kelly was reading an article on his phone as Matt was taking a bath and getting ready for the night. Even though it took a while, he was glad his friend could mostly manage himself. The last thing he wanted was infringe on his friend's trust and privacy. He hoped that if Matt needed help, he would just call for him.

After a while, Matt got out of the bathroom in his boxers and a shirt as they had decided to just have some beers in the room.

Moving onto the bed, Matt was sitting up against the pillows of the bed. Kelly couldn't help but look at his friend's legs. They were thin and withered.

''That is what happens what happens when you don't use them, like you with you brain.'' Matt said as he caught him looking.

''Sorry man.''

''It is fine.'' Matt said, looking a bit sad at his legs then.

''It is not, you don't need to keep saying it is fine when it upsets you.'' Kelly assured his friend.

''I hate it okay, there is nothing I can change about it. I just want to make the best of it but it is so frustrating to lose everything!'' Matt started to talk a bit louder. '' I mean, I still have you and Gabby and everybody, but my career is gone. I can't do my sports and I can't even get into your car without hitting myself with the door.''

''Matt-''

''No, don't say you understand it because you don't!'' Matt got angrier now. It was not that he was angry with his friend, but he was frustrated and since Kelly was one of the closest people to him, he could finally let go a bit and be angry, because he knew Kelly wouldn't push him away.

''My health is piss poor and with all the complications surrounding this injury it is only going to get worse. I can't feel my temperature, my bladder, nothing! Sometimes Gabby touches me and I need to see it, because I don't feel it. You know how frustrating that is? I am glad I am alive and how much I recovered, but you can't say you understand.''

Kelly just nodded, not sure what to you say.

''Do you regret staying in that building to talk to Gabby on the radio?'' He finally asked.

''No.'' Matt admitted then. ''I would not have done anything differently if I could do it again.''

''Time for a beer?'' Kelly asked then, lighting up the mood a little bit.

''Definitely!'' Matt nodded.

Sitting together they enjoyed a few more beers. Even though a lot had changed over the past few months, their friendship had always remained the same.

* * *

 **Took a while to get this chapter done. Wanted to do a chapter with Matt talking a bit more to his friend! Hope you liked it as well! Thank you so much for reading and please let me know waht you thought.**


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